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NEW MOVIES!  JULY 29 - AUGUST 4, 2014
NOAH (USA, PG-13) - Having never read the bible and being a very infrequent church-goer, I find it all too easy to allow Darren Aronofsky to do whatever he likes with the tale of Noah and his ark. Make it an action fantasy epic? No problem! Add elemental spirit rock giants? Yes, please! However, he crosses the line at torturing my long-lasting childhood crush, Hermione Granger.
DIRECTED BY: Darren Aronofsky
STARRING: Russell Crowe, Jennifer Connelly, Ray Winstone, Emma Watson, Logan Lerman, Anthony Hopkins
METASCORE: 68, based on 46 Critics
THE OTHER WOMAN (USA, PG-13) - This movie is JOHN TUCKER MUST DIE, except for adults. Three women find out they have been dating the same guy and, boy, are they mad. Instead of just cutting him out of their lives, they become frenemies and decide to teach him a lesson.
DIRECTED BY: Nick Cassavetes
STARRING: Cameron Diaz, Leslie Mann, Kate Upton, Nikolaj Coster-Waldau, Nicki Minaj, Taylor Kinney, Don Johnson
METASCORE: 39, based on 35 Critics
#FINDING VIVIAN MAIER (USA, Not Rated) - A lot of people take many photos. Some call it a hobby; some a profession. Vivian Mayer falls into the former of these two categories. However, her work, viewed throughout the decades, has inspired others and prompted the making of this documentary. Check this one out and tell Kyra if Vivian's photos are better than those of your pretentious relative who carries around an unnecessarily expensive camera at all times.
DIRECTED BY: John Maloof / Charlie Siskel
METASCORE: 75, based on 25 Critics
ON MY WAY (France, Not Rated) - Recently sixty and single, Bettie is left with a failing restaurant and a hole in her heart where love and money used to be. So what's a woman to do? Why, take a road trip with her estranged daughter and grandson, of course. That's where the love is. Clearly.
DIRECTED BY: Emmanuelle Bercot
STARRING: Catherine Deneuve
METASCORE: 60, based on 17 Critics
CUBAN FURY (UK, R) - Hey, Nick Frost! What are you doing in a movie without Simon Pegg and a sci-fi aspect? Are you trying to prove you can act all on your own? Don't worry, bud, I believe in you. You don't need to dance it off to win over that special lady.
DIRECTED BY: James Griffiths
STARRING: Nick Frost, Rashida Jones, Chris O'Dowd, Olivia Colman, Ian McShane, Simon Pegg
METASCORE: 52, based on 21 Critics
HALF OF A YELLOW SUN (Nigeria, R) - If you're anything like me and don't know much about the Nigerian Civil War except that it's where Jello Biafra got half of his name, then you should watch this movie. Although, word around the library is it's not as good as the book.
DIRECTED BY: Biyi Bandele
STARRING: Chiwetel Ejiofor, Thandie Newton, Onyeka Onwenu, Genevieve Nnaji, OC Ukeje
METASCORE: 51, based on 20 Critics
LULLABY (USA, R) - We've got two dysfunctional family movies in one week with a black sheep returning home. Unlike COLD TURKEY, this one is about a family coming together because their cancer-stricken father has announced he will end his life within 48 hours. Now the family is back together and forced to interact. And, of course, it's the dad from SIX FEET UNDER playing the suicidal father in this one.
DIRECTED BY: Andrew Levitas
STARRING: Amy Adams, Garrett Hedlund, Jessica Brown Findlay, Terrence Howard, Richard Jenkins, Daniel Sunjata, Jennifer Hudson, Anne Archer
METASCORE: 35, based on 14 Critics
*IT FELT LIKE LOVE (USA, Not Rated) - Lila is a 14-year-old girl. She should be enjoying these carefree years. Instead, the pressure to become sexualized and experienced, like her racier friend, is her summer priority. You should watch this one if you want to see how fast kids these days are trying to grow up.
DIRECTED BY: Eliza Hittman
STARRING: Gina Piersanti, Giovanna Salimeni, Ronen Rubinstein
METASCORE: 76, based on 13 Critics
BAD JOHNSON (USA, Not Rated) - Rich is a playboy, but it's not his fault women love him. It is the fault of his downstairs business. He gets kinda fed up and wishes his johnson would just go away. He wakes up and his wish has come true. Not only has it detached, but it has also taken human form and he's kind of a d*ck. If you like dumb comedy, you'll love this P.O.S.
DIRECTED BY: Huck Botko
STARRING: Cam Gigandet, Jamie Chung, Nick Thune
METASCORE: 25, based on 12 Critics
THE PROTECTOR 2 (Thailand, R) - Unless death is on the line, there is no reason to fight for your life. Luckily, Ong Bak has been accused of murder and must do just that. In case you're wondering, yes, this is the sequel to THE PROTECTOR.
DIRECTED BY: Prachya Pinkaew
STARRING: Tony Jaa, Rza, Mum Jokmok, Yanin Vismitananda
METASCORE: 45, based on 10 Critics
COLD TURKEY (USA, Not Rated) - It's Thanksgiving and this family is in for it. The black sheep daughter comes home and dysfunction ensues. The worst part? The turkey gets cold. Just kidding, there's worse stuff.
DIRECTED BY: Will Slocombe
STARRING: Alicia Witt, Sonya Walger, Cheryl Hines, Wilson Bethel, Ashton Holmes, Victoria Tennant, Peter Bogdanovich METASCORE: 42, based on 10 Critics
SHIRIN IN LOVE (USA, Not Rated) - An Iranian-American woman living in Beverly Hills is engaged to be married to an Iranian doctor as per the wishes of her overbearing mother. However, Shirin starts to fall for a man whom her heart, rather than her mother, chose. Uh-oh!
DIRECTED BY: Ramin Niami
STARRING: George Wallace, Amy Madigan, Nazanin Boniadi, Riley Smith, Marshall Manesh, Maz Jobrani
METASCORE: 29, based on 9 Critics
FIVE DANCES (USA, Not Rated) - It's a coming-of-age story about a young male dancer. Boy wonder moved away from his tragically broken Midwestern family to pursue a career in New York City. Unlike MAGIC MIKE, he's classy dancer.
DIRECTED BY: Alan Brown
STARRING: Ryan Steele, Reed Luplau, Catherine Miller
METASCORE: 50, based on 8 Critics
HANK AND ASHA (USA, Not Rated) - Lisa gave this one her thumbs up and we're taking her word for it. It's a love story about two people in distant cities who communicate only through video letters. In these modern times, what else is there? Amiright?
DIRECTED BY: James E. Duff
STARRING: Andrew Pastides, Mahira Kakkar, Brian Sloan
METASCORE: 45, based on 8 Critics
SALVO (Italy, Not Rated) - Bodyguard/hit man Salvo saves his employer from certain doom. After doing so, he hunts down the would-be attackers, hit man style. Then he runs into a blind girl who changes his world and his mind. Whoa.
DIRECTED BY: Fabio Grassadonia / Antonio Piazza
STARRING: Saleh Bakri, Sara Serraiocco, Mario Pupella
METASCORE: 55, based on 6 Critics
THE DEN (USA, R) - A woman has decided to study people's online webcam use. Fascinating stuff, right? Well, the fun ends when she witnesses a murder on the onlines and things get messy and horror flicky.
DIRECTED BY: Zachary Donohue
STARRING: Melanie Papalia, David Schlachtenhaufen, Matt Riedy
METASCORE: 48, based on 6 Critics
^THE AMAZING CATFISH (Mexico, Not Rated) - Two women meet while in the hospital. One is young and the other is a mother of four. When they leave the hospital, the older woman invites the younger to come live at her house. She is quickly embraced as part of the family, though nobody is exactly sure what she's doing there.
DIRECTED BY: Claudia Sainte-Luce
STARRING: Ximena Ayala, Lisa Owen, Sonia Franco, Wendy Guillén
METASCORE: 69, based on 5 Critics
   
^ = BART'S PICK OF THE WEEK!          * = KYRA'S PICK OF THE WEEK!          # = COLIN'S PICK OF THE WEEK!
 
NEW SERIES THIS WEEK! NEW (BUT NOT NEW) MOVIES THIS WEEK! NEW FAMILY TIME THIS WEEK!
Blue Mountain State: Season 1 (2010) Ergo Proxy (2006)
Midsomer Murders: Set 24 (2012) The Black Scorpion (1957)
The Projected Man (1966)
It Lives By Night (1974)
Outlaw of Gor (1988)
 
 

NO NEW (BUT NOT NEW) MOVIES THIS WEEK!

Pokémon: Season 1, Indigo League, Part 1 (1998)
  NEW (BUT NOT NEW) DVDs LAST WEEK!