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NEW MOVIES! FEBRUARY 14 - FEBRUARY 20, 2012 |
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THE RUM DIARY (dir: Bruce Robinson, R) One really
amazing talent of John Depp is most assuredly his range of
characters. If it's not the loose-limbed, heavy-handed pirate, it's
the loose-limbed, heavy-handed Hunter S. Thompson, or it could even
be the loose-limbed, heavy-handed Mad Hatter. It's just one 360
degree transformation to the other one that's pretty much the same. |
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*TAKE SHELTER
(dir: Jeff Nichols, R) Perhaps "too real" for the real "Prep-ers"
out there, this paranoia-driven film makes you sort of question
whether or not the world is going to end... or if it's just all in
your head. Besides all that, Michael Shannon has one of those faces
that you can't stop looking at, even if the whole world is ending
around you. |
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MOZART'S SISTER (dir: Rene Feret,
Not Rated) If there is a time to try to prove that Mozart's sister
is better than him, it is certainly more than 200 years after that
guy died. That said, you'll love this film. Who would not want
anyway? The only person with a cooler name than Wolfgang Amadeus
Mozart is Bart. Zing! |
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THE HUMAN CENTIPEDE 2 [FULL SEQUENCE] (dir: Tom Six,
Unrated) No one needs to say anything about this movie. There are
two kinds of people in the world: the kind that hear the concept of
this movie and never watch it, or the kind that after hearing the
concept gets super excited to watch it. Which kinds of persons are
you? |
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^TINY FURNITURE
(dir: Lena Dunham, Not Rated) With absolutely no relation to
all-star ventriloquist Jeff Dunham, it's very surprising that the
talent of Lena Dunham came out of nowhere. She isn't a hilarious
ventriloquist like her dad, Jeff Dunham, but I've heard that this
movie is really, really good, even if there isn't any ventriloquism
in it. |
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ELITE SQUAD: THE ENEMY WITHIN (dir:
Jose Padilha, Not Rated) Cops and robbers, bang, bang. Bang, bang,
robbers and cops. Bang, bang, rob that bank. Put them in jail, put
them in jail. The only thing hotter than these cops and robbers are
the streets of Rio de Janeiro upon which these intense turf wars take
place. |
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THE DEAD (dir: Howard J. Ford / Jon Ford, R) What
we've got here is a pretty mediocre zombie movie, but it was shot on
35mm film in Burkina Faso using practical effects rather than CGI.
So, if you like your walking dead old-school with a cool-looking
'70s Romero vibe, you could probably do way worse. |
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THE DEBT (dir: Assaf Bernstein, Not Rated) Nay brethren, 'tis not the Helen
Mirren vehicle of the same story and name! This earlier Israeli film stars
some woman with a kinda cool scar on her face who wears it like a
Red Badge of Courage. Oh yeah, and something about scheduling
appointments with mad Nazi doctors. In a lot of ways, its quite the
cautionary tale! |
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ELEVATE (dir: Anne Buford, PG) Every
single
review of this documentary says it's like HOOP DREAMS, only the NBA
hopefuls are coming all the way from Senegal instead of from
poor American inner-city families. Without ever having seen the film,
I'm going to be contradictory and say it's nothing like that. |
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SEDUCING CHARLIE BARKER (dir: Amy Glazer, R) It's a
movie about an out-of-work actor throwing away his marriage,
friendships, and career for a pretty young thing. Sounds like your
run-of-the-mill mid-life crisis movie, but maybe this one has a
fresh new twist that shines a harsh light on today's society. Rent
it today to find out! |
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3 (dir: Tom Tykwer, Not Rated) You can pretty much guess by looking at the
cover what will take place in the movie (but can you guess out of
the three who is already in a relationship? Huh? HUH?). But for
those looking for an affair to remember, spend the night with these
three lovable individuals and try to find out if any of these people
like what theyre doing onscreen. Or are they just being "nice" to
each other? |
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UNDER THE BOARDWALK: THE MONOPOLY STORY
(dir: Kevin Tostado, G) Now I like Monopoly as much as the next
guy, even though I don't think I've ever finished a game. If you're
like me, you should check this documentary out. Telling the stories
of different players at the 2009 Monopoly World Championships (who
knew that existed?), and narrated by Zachary "Chuck" Levi, this
film's only 88 minutes long. It sounds like a much quicker way to
enjoy the game. |
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WOODY ALLEN: A
DOCUMENTARY (dir: Robert B. Weide, Not Rated) Ever since this
documentary aired on PBS a few weeks ago, all of our Woody Allen
films have been flying off the shelf like crazy. Have fun with that!
The only Woody Allen films I need are his brilliant early '00s
trilogy of THE CURSE OF THE JADE SCORPION, HOLLYWOOD ENDING, and
ANYTHING ELSE. |
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= KURT'S PICK OF THE WEEK!
^
= BART'S PICK OF THE WEEK! |
