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here for the previous week's New Movies
click
here for 2009 OVERVIEW!
NEW
MOVIES! MARCH 24 - MARCH 30, 2009
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ARC (dir: Robert Ethan
Gunnerson, Not Rated) – This thriller about a disgraced cop looking for redemption has been rotting in the studio vault for almost three years. Until the realization was made that the star of this movie, Peter
Facinelli, also has a substantial role in TWILIGHT and it was quickly rushed out for release on the same day. |
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BIG STAN (dir: Rob Schneider, R) – Do you think Rob Schneider ever wakes up in the morning, has a moment of clarity, and just stares in the mirror blubbering for a couple of hours? I like to think so. |
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BOLT (dir: Byron Howard / Chris Williams, PG) – The only silver lining in this is that you don’t have to look at Miley Cyrus’ little rodent face. You just have to listen to her squawk. |
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THE CAKE EATERS (dir: Mary Stuart Masterson, R) – Hey, look! It’s Kristen Stewart from TWILIGHT! And this indie about a dysfunctional family conveniently comes out the same week as TWILIGHT! On a really cool note, our beloved Mary Stuart Masterson makes her directing debut here. Love
ya, Watts! |
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COLUMBUS DAY (dir: Charles
Burmeister, R) – Val Kilmer is apparently planning to run for Governor of New Mexico in the near future. For real. I bet he was hoping this cheap-o straight-to-DVD espionage thriller would stay buried until after that. |
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DARK REEL (dir: Josh
Eisenstadt, R) – A murderer stalks the set of a horror movie in this latest chapter of the slow, sad decline of Edward Furlong. |
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FLING* (dir: John Stewart Muller, R) – Weird. We were just discussing what happened to Brandon Routh after SUPERMAN RETURNS. As it turns out, he’s making slightly kinky straight-to-DVD movies. |
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*JESSE STONE: SEA CHANGE (dir: Robert Harmon, Not Rated) – Man, is it possible to not have a man-crush on Tom
Selleck? The answer is no. Even if you’re a chick. And it’s nice to see him slip into a groove with these mysteries based on the books of Robert B. Parker. Can a MAGNUM
P.I. revival be too far off? |
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NEW YORK CITY SERENADE (dir: Frank Whaley, R) – I’m really torn on this one, guys. I really love actor turned director Frank Whaley. His two previous films, JOE THE KING and THE JIMMY SHOW were low-key gems. But why did he have to populate his new movie with idiots like Chris Klein, Freddie Prinze Jr. and Jamie-Lynn Sigler? |
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^QUANTUM OF SOLACE (dir: Marc Forster, PG-13) – They went a bit overboard with the brutal realism this time. Aren’t James Bond movies supposed to be fun? |
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A SECRET (dir: Claude Miller, Not Rated) – This epic story of a Jewish family in Paris after WWII from French master Claude Miller has been called one of his best. The amazing cast includes Cecile De France, Mathieu Amalric and Ludivine
Sagnier. |
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TOOTS (dir: Kristi Jacobson, Not Rated) – This documentary about legendary Manhattan saloonkeeper Toots Shor was shortlisted by the National Board of Review as one of the top five of 2007. Unfortunately, virtually no one has seen it. It’s got politicians and gangsters, sports heroes and
Sinatra. And lots of interviews with folks like Walter Cronkite, Mike Wallace and Yogi
Berra. |
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TWILIGHT (dir: Catherine
Hardwicke, PG-13) – What a strange little case of pop culture schizophrenia. This movie simultaneously does everything it can to get young girls totally revved up with teenage lust before hitting home a strong Mormon-sponsored message of abstinence. Man, America sure can be weird. Oh, and this movie really sucks. |
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VACANCY 2: THE FIRST CUT (dir: Eric
Bross, R) – No Luke Wilson or Kate Beckinsale, but you do get Agnes
Bruckner, former hotly-tipped starlet, for this gruesome prequel to the surprisingly good 2007 thriller. |
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= GREG's
pick of the week! ^ = Bart's
pick of the week! |