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click
here for the previous week's New Movies
click
here for 2009 OVERVIEW!
NEW
MOVIES! MARCH 31 - APRIL 6, 2009
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AUTOPSY (dir: Adam
Gierasch, Unrated) – Note to stupid young people. Unless you like being experimented on by a crazy doctor, don’t get in a car accident in the middle of nowhere with only an abandoned hospital to seek refuge in. |
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THE BROKEN (dir: Sean Ellis, R) – Lena Headey from 300 stars as a successful young doctor whose life quickly spirals out of control after she sees the spitting image of herself walking down the street. |
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THE BUTTERFLY EFFECT 3: REVELATIONS (dir: Seth Grossman, R) – Ashton Kutcher is nowhere to be found. I heard he was too busy massaging Demi Moore’s bunions. Anyhow, some kid still has to travel through time to solve some
whatsit. |
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CHRYSALIS (dir: Julien
Leclercq, Not Rated) – Classy visuals, radical fight sequences from the guy that choreographed all the violence in the BOURNE films and a decent story all converge in this futuristic French thriller that imagines Paris on a Detroit-like downward spiral. |
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DYING BREED (dir: Jody Dwyer, R) – Well, we finally have a movie from Tasmania. It seems a little more glamorous than just another
plain-jane Australian movie. Who cares if it’s just a greasy DELIVERANCE rip-off? |
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FROM WITHIN (dir: Phedon
Papamichael, R) – What is happening to the teenagers of Grovetown? They’re dropping like flies - each a gruesome suicide. It’s up to smart, pretty Lindsay to figure out what’s up before she becomes worm food too. |
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MARLEY & ME (dir: David Frankel, PG) – I find it really distasteful that all the used dogs from this movie were shipped off to puppy mills after filming was done. You’re no friend of mine, Jennifer
Aniston. |
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NOAH'S ARC: JUMPING THE BROOM (dir:
Patrik-Ian Polk, R) – I suspect that suburban Maine is probably not the primary target market for Logo’s program about hunky gay black men. I’d really like this spin-off movie to prove me wrong though. |
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NOTHING TO LOSE (TBS) (dir: Pieter
Kuijpers, Not Rated) – In this Dutch thriller, a mentally spastic young man tries to prove that the murder of his father was a misunderstanding - by kidnapping a 13-year-old girl and holding her hostage. Smart move, I reckon. |
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THE OTHER END OF THE LINE (dir: James Dodson, PG-13) – Man, I really hate that slimeball from DESPERATE HOUSEWIVES. Don’t you want to shave off his eyebrows while he’s asleep? |
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PERKINS' 14 (dir: Craig Singer, R) – A cop, still reeling from the disappearance of his son after a decade, thinks he has finally found his suspect in a creepy prison inmate. When he seeks revenge, he unwittingly sets off a wave of carnage that engulfs his entire small town. |
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*RICKY GERVAIS: OUT OF ENGLAND (dir: John Moffitt, Not Rated) – It’s a little strange seeing Ricky Gervais on stage but he quickly draws you in with his unique performance style. Honestly, he really is one the best people on Earth. |
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SATAN (SATANAS) (dir: Andres
Baiz, Not Rated) – This Colombian film interweaves the stories of a young femme fatale, a morally conflicted priest and a professor who is more bored by what he teaches than his students are. All neatly culminating in a mass murder based on a real tragedy from 1986. |
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SEVEN POUNDS (dir: Gabriele
Muccino, PG-13) – Nobody knows anything about this mysterious Will Smith drama except that it has something to do with a jellyfish. I’m getting a real PAY IT FORWARD vibe though. Consider yourself warned. |
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SLAUGHTER (dir: Stewart Hopewell, R) – Escaping an abusive relationship, a young lady goes to stay at a girlfriend’s family farm. She senses trouble when she notices her friend bringing home lots of men that then disappear. And what is that strange smell coming from the slaughterhouse? |
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SLUMDOG MILLIONAIRE (dir: Danny Boyle, R) – It’s cool that Danny Boyle can hop around in so many different genres, but I wish he would chill out with the spazzy camera moves. This movie makes me feel like I have ADD and I’m on a
rollercoaster. It’s still pretty cool though. |
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SPECIAL (dir: Hal Haberman / Jeremy
Passmore, R) – Michael Rapaport gets the best role of his not very distinguished career as an average dude who, after participating in an experimental drug treatment, develops unique abilities. |
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TEHILIM (dir: Raphael
Nadjari, Not Rated) – An average middle-class family is thrown into turmoil after the father goes missing following a minor car accident. This eerie Israeli film totally bagged the Grand Prize at Tokyo’s FilmEx Festival. |
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^TELL NO ONE (dir: Guillaume
Canet, Not Rated) – This acclaimed French thriller has been compared to everything from VERTIGO to THE FUGITIVE. A doctor still in mourning for his deceased wife receives a mysterious e-mail that suggests she is still alive. The problem is, he’s the main suspect in her death. And Kristen Scott Thomas is speaking French again! |
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VOICES (dir: Ki-hwan Oh, R) – A young Korean woman witnesses the violent murder of her family and fears she could be next in this thriller based on a popular comic book. |
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WATCHMEN: TALES OF THE BLACK FREIGHTER (dir: Mike Smith, R) – It will be several more months before the actual WATCHMEN will be sucking on DVD. Bide your time with this story-within-a-story animated offshoot until then. Be warned though, you won’t understand what this gory pirate story has to do with anything unless you’ve read the book. |
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= GREG's
pick of the week! ^ = Bart's
pick of the week! |