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click
here for the previous week's New Movies
click
here for 2009 OVERVIEW!
NEW
MOVIES! APRIL 28 - MAY 4, 2009
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BRIDE WARS (dir: Gary
Winick, PG) – You know, ladies, these regressive little confections that serve only to pit women against each other are just furthering the tyranny of this patriarchal society we live in. Don’t not watch this because of me, but at least think of your daughters. |
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CARGO 200 (dir: Aleksey
Balabanov, Not Rated) – This blacker-than-death comedy set in the Soviet Union at the tail end of the cold war promises to shock even the most strong-stomached of viewers. Although universally critically acclaimed, nearly every review is tempered with a warning about how unpleasant it is. Consider yourself warned. |
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DOG DAYS OF SUMMER (dir: Mark
Freiburger, Not Rated) – Two young boys in a sleepy southern town are intrigued by a charismatic but possibly dangerous stranger that shows up one summer. He can’t be too dangerous since this is from the creators of THE ULTIMATE GIFT. |
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HOTEL FOR DOGS (dir: Thor
Freudenthal, PG) – Do you love adorable dogs, clever kids and ingenious gadgets? Well, you’re
just the highly fetishized individual that might enjoy this clunker. |
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JAM (dir: Mark
Woollen, Not Rated) – The colorful history of the uniquely American sport known as roller derby gets a snazzy documentary treatment that won the Grand Jury Prize at SXSW last year. |
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^JCVD (dir: Mabrouk El
Mechri, R) – One thing you don’t expect from the Muscles From Brussels is post-modernism. But then again, that’s the danger of under-estimating Jean-Claude. He will come back and kick you in the head. But this time he’s kicking you in the brain. |
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LEGALLY BLONDES (dir: Savage Steve Holland, PG) – When I had this cyanide capsule implanted into my cheek I was kind of hoping I would never get in a situation where I would have to use it. But now that I’ve bitten into it,
I'm not sorry. |
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LIVE AND BECOME (dir: Radu
Mihaileanu, Not Rated) – Is there any minority more righteous than the Ethiopian Jews? The answer is no. This fact-based crowd pleaser follows a young boy who gets airlifted from a Sudanese refugee camp to Israel in 1984. The only problem is that he’s not an orphan and he’s not a Jew. |
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MARTYRS (dir: Pascal
Laugier, Unrated) – The French have really led the way in freaking the world out with gruesome horror movies in the last few years. This one apparently takes the gateau, though. A couple of young women seek vengeance for a past crime only to have it back-fire in the most horrifying manner possible. |
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NOTHING BUT THE TRUTH (dir: Rod
Lurie, R) – Kate Beckinsale takes a break from killing vampires and stuff to play a reporter who refuses to give up her source and faces jail time in this fact based drama. |
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SEX & LIES IN SIN CITY (dir: Peter
Medak, Not Rated) – Apparently, we’re now stocking our shelves with
made-for-TV schlock based on sleazy real life murders. Was this on the Lifetime network? |
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*STRANDED (dir: Gonzalo
Arijon, Not Rated) – You’ve seen ALIVE, now get the true story of those South American plane crash cannibals in their own words. |
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THE UNINVITED (dir: Charles Guard / Thomas Guard, PG-13) – This remake of A TALE OF TWO SISTERS is about five years too late to ride the J-Horror train but, more importantly, why is Elizabeth Banks in this? |
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WHAT DOESN'T KILL YOU (dir: Brian Goodman, R) – As much as I love Mark
Ruffalo and gritty crime thrillers set in Boston, this movie reeks of déjà vu.
Eww, and Amanda Peet is in it. |
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WHILE SHE WAS OUT (dir: Susan
Montford, R) – Kim Basinger witnesses a murder by a bunch of young thugs and decides to seek vengeance. When the lead thug is wispy Lukas
Haas, that shouldn’t be a problem. |
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= GREG's
pick of the week! ^ = Bart's
PICK OF THE week! |