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here for the previous week's New Movies
click
here for 2009 OVERVIEW!
NEW
MOVIES! MAY 12 - MAY 18, 2009
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THE GRUDGE 3 (dir: Toby Wilkins, R) – Remember how cute Shawnee Smith was in SUMMER SCHOOL and the 1988 remake of THE BLOB? Remember when she fell in that pit of needles in SAW II? I think she was on that sitcom where Ted Danson was a grouchy doctor, too. Man, Shawnee Smith is really cool. I’m glad she’s still getting work. |
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HAPPILY EVER AFTER (dir: Yukihiko
Tsutsumi, Not Rated) – Only Japan could produce a romantic comedy about domestic violence. That’s not a compliment, Japan. |
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HIGH HOPES (dir: Joe
Eckardt, R) –You can’t get Mike Leigh’s classic working class London slice-of-life on DVD but you can get this vacuous stoner comedy. To sarcastically quote the title of another Mike Leigh movie not on DVD,
"Life is sweet." |
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IN TRANZIT (dir: Tom Roberts, R) – In the aftermath of WWII, a group of German POWs are accidentally sent to a female-run Soviet prison camp. Not nearly as sexy as it sounds. |
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KILL BULJO (dir: Tommy
Wirkola, R) – Thanks, Norway. The world was waiting for you whale-munchers to make a spoof of KILL BILL. |
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LAID TO REST (dir: Robert Hall,
Unrated) – Waking up in a locked casket with a head injury and no idea how you got there is a pretty harsh realm to venture into. Escaping and evading the psycho who put you in there must also be traumatizing. |
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^LYING (dir: M.
Blash, Not Rated) – Chloe Sevigny and some other females head to the country for the weekend and quickly succumb to the intoxicating temptation of hurtful gossip. It must be something in the ovaries. |
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MULLIGANS (dir: Chip Hale, Not Rated) – In the future, all movies will be about gay Christian golfers. For right now, this is something of a curiosity. |
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O JERUSALEM (dir: Elie
Chouraqui, R) – This historical drama tells the story of the friendship of an Arab and a Jew during the creation of the state of Israel. I wonder how that worked out for them. |
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PASSENGERS (dir: Rodrigo Garcia, PG-13) – Anne Hathaway plays a therapist trying to help the survivors of a horrific plane crash. But did anyone really survive? Is the airline trying to silence conflicting accounts of what happened? Was there even a plane crash? I watched this movie and I can’t answer any of those questions. |
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PERSONAL EFFECTS (dir: David Hollander, R) – Man, Ashton Kutcher just can’t keep his grubby paws off the attractive older ladies. In this drab drama, he plays a sad college wrestler mourning his dead sister who meets and convalesces with Michelle
Pfeiffer, who is also sad about some stuff. |
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S. DARKO (dir: Chris Fisher, R) – Although nobody involved with the creation of cult phenomenon DONNIE DARKO had anything to do with this sequel, it’s not all bad news. They did reel in GOSSIP GIRL himbo Chace Crawford for a starring role. |
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SETH MACFARLANE'S CAVALCADE OF CARTOON COMEDY (dir: Seth
MacFarlane, Not Rated) – Look, there are people I respect that love FAMILY GUY. I’m not going to hold it against them. We’re just going to have to agree to disagree. So enjoy some more stupid junk, idiots. |
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*TAKEN (dir: Pierre Morel, PG-13) – If you’re even flirting with the notion of kidnapping Liam Neeson’s daughter, think better of it. He will hit you with his gun in your neck and then probably shoot you. All while giving you a withering glare that will make you feel really bad about yourself and the decisions you’ve made. |
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TAKING CHANCE (dir: Ross Katz, PG) – Kevin Bacon stars in this fact-based drama about the massive bummer it is to be the guy that gets to escort dead soldiers' bodies to their families. |
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UNDERWORLD: RISE OF THE LYCANS (dir: Patrick
Tatopoulos, R) – Michael Sheen was good as David Frost in FROST/NIXON and as Tony Blair in THE QUEEN but I personally always thought he might be more suited to get involved in the ongoing epic war between the vampires and werewolves. |
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= GREG's
pick of the week! ^ = Bart's
pick of the week! |
