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NEW MOVIES!  OCTOBER 6 - OCTOBER 12, 2009
^ANVIL! THE STORY OF ANVIL (dir: Sacha Gervasi, Not Rated) – People! Are you ready to have your cockles warmed and your heartstrings plucked by a couple of aging Canadian metalheads who refuse to give up on their dreams of rock and roll immortality? Did I mention it’s repeatedly been compared to a factual SPINAL TAP? The London Times, which is a newspaper in England or Ontario even said this is “The greatest movie ever made about rock and roll.”

ASSASSINATION OF A HIGH SCHOOL PRESIDENT (dir: Brett Simon, R) – This snarky comedy wants to be RUSHMORE meets BRICK really badly. The fact that it’s about a tenth as good as either is too bad. Some very creative swearing though.
BESIEGED FORTRESS (dir: Philippe Calderon, G) – John Cusack narrates this amazing nature documentary about an epic battle between invasive ants trying to take over a termite fortress.
BLEACH THE MOVIE 2: THE DIAMONDDUST REBELLION (dir: Noriyuki Abe, Not Rated) – The long-running anime series gets even longer with this second stand alone movie.

THE CHILDREN (dir: Tom Shankland, R) – Not sure why the British chose to remake a dopey American horror movie from the 70s about a group of kids that go nuts after sniffing a supernatural miasma but they did and it certainly is boring.
DARK COUNTRY (dir: Thomas Jane, R) – If Thomas Jane can bring any of the ferocity of his performance in THE MIST to his directorial debut it might be interesting but, from the look of it, this Las Vegas set thriller looks pretty routine.
FULL BATTLE RATTLE (dir: Tony Gerber / Jesse Moss, Not Rated) – Did you know that the military has a full scale Iraqi village in the Mojave desert where they can practice killing brown people without even having to leave America soil? Well, thanks to this documentary you can now see your tax dollars at work.

IMAGINE THAT (dir: Karey Kirkpatrick, PG) – Oh, Eddie. That new indoor pool for your eco-lodge in Bhutan is nice. But was it really worth making this movie for? That’s right, Eddie. You’re a total ho.
IT'S ALIVE (dir: Josef Rusnak, Unrated) – I wasn’t taking much notice of this straight-to- DVD remake of the 1970s cult classic until I saw two words, Bijou and Phillips. Although I guess she’s no longer the craziest member of the Phillips clan (thanks John and Mackenzie!), she’ll always be held close to the DVD Explosion bosom. Skip this and watch her masterwork, BULLY.
MY LIFE IN RUINS (dir: Donald Petrie, PG-13) – Remember when MY BIG FAT GREEK WEDDING charmed your pants off back in 2002? Well, Nia Vardalos is back and this time she’s actually in Greece looking for romance. With the help of pesky tourist Richard Dreyfuss, she might actually bag the man of her dreams.

*NOT QUITE HOLLYWOOD (dir: Mark Hartley, R) – Beyond MAD MAX, most people probably don’t know too much about Australian exploitation movies from the 70s and 80s. With this rollicking documentary you can finally see the rootin’ good time you’ve missed out on all these years.
OFFSPRING (dir: Andrew van den Houten, R) – Some cannibals are living in the woods near the Maine coast and they sure seem to enjoy performing home invasions and stealing babies. Before you get too excited, please note that the Maine coast in this movie is actually played by Lake Michigan .
RAGE (dir: Sally Potter, Not Rated) – Enigmatic British director Sally Potter has only made four movies in the past 20 years, so why she felt the need to make this experimental film about the fashion industry supposedly shot entirely with cell phones and on a very restrictive schedule is anyone’s guess. She did manage to rope in Jude Law, Steve Buscemi and Judi Dench for the shenanigans though.

SEVENTH MOON (dir: Eduardo Sanchez, Not Rated) – Amy Smart makes some Chinese ghosts really mad.
SITA SINGS THE BLUES (dir: Nina Paley, Not Rated) – I don’t exactly know who the audience for an animated telling of the Indian tale of Ramayana with 1920s jazz vocals is but I bet they’re really psyched that somebody finally thought of them.
THE THAW (dir: Mark A. Lewis, R) – What the heck is Val Kilmer doing at the North Pole? Oh, I see. He’s the scientist that unleashes a prehistoric virus that kills loads of people in increasingly gruesome and creative ways.

TRICK 'R TREAT (dir: Michael Dougherty, R) – Just to be clear, this is not the 1986 horror film about heavy metal crazy teens starring Skippy from FAMILY TIES. That was TRICK OR TREAT. This is TRICK ‘R TREAT and it’s a four part horror anthology starring Anna Paquin. Skippy fans need not apply!
TUNNEL RATS (dir: Uwe Boll, Unrated) – Plenty of directors have taken a shot at making a Vietnam movie before, but none of them could lay claim to being the world’s worst living filmmaker. That’s where Uwe Boll comes in. Your imagination is simply not vast enough to formulate what the man responsible for HOUSE OF THE DEAD and BLOODRAYNE 2 could potentially bring to the war genre.

YEAR ONE (dir: Harold Ramis, Unrated) – Anyone concerned that Jack Black would be taking a turn for the serious will be relieved that this caveman comedy with Michael Cera keeps the maturity level nice and infantile.
* = GREG's pick of the week!         ^ = Bart's pick of the week!

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