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NEW MOVIES!  NOVEMBER 10 - NOVEMBER 16, 2009

THE ACCIDENTAL HUSBAND (dir: Griffin Dunne, PG-13) – Uma Thurman plays a radio love guru who inadvertently ruins the relationship of a firefighter and his fiancee. Rather than simply tracking her down and killing her, which would be inappropriate in a romantic comedy, he causes some romantic shenanigans for her as well. Somehow Colin Firth, Sam Shepard and Isabella Rossellini are involved.

BLACK DEVIL DOLL (dir: Jonathan Lewis, Unrated) – Promising to be the film that offends everyone, BLACK DEVIL DOLL truly succeeds in being the most racist, sexist piece of smut imaginable. Unsurprisingly, it's already developed a small but strident following in Canada.

COLLISION: CHRISTOPHER HITCHENS VS. DOUGLAS WILSON (dir: Darren Doane, Not Rated) – Christopher Hitchens is the funniest, snarkiest, drunkiest atheist to ever work the Washington cocktail party scene. Somehow between getting in booze fueled quarrels on cable news programs, he found the time to go on a debating tour with a noted religious scholar.
DR. BRONNER'S MAGIC SOAPBOX (dir: Sara Lamm, Not Rated) – Can you imagine trying to explain to an impoverished Cambodian villager that you just watched a documentary about soap? For pleasure.

EATING OUT 3: ALL YOU CAN EAT (dir: Glenn Gaylord, Not Rated) – This seems like particularly foolish behavior given the swine flu epidemic. But I guess some people just like to live on the edge.

THE ENGLISH SURGEON (dir: Geoffrey Smith, Not Rated) – An English neurosurgeon travels to the Ukraine and is appalled by the medical conditions there and begins to volunteer his skills. Secretly he's probably just stoked that he found a more depressing corner of the world than England, but he's still a righteous dude. Thanks for cutting that huge thing off that guy's head, Dr. Marsh! It was disgusting.
HOW TO COOK YOUR LIFE (dir: Doris Dorrie, Not Rated) – Noted German director Doris Dφrrie turns her lens on Edward Espe Brown, a Zen Master and noted chef. As he travels the world teaching the importance of cooking as a spiritual experience, you will not only become hungry but enriched too.

THE MERRY GENTLEMAN (dir: Michael Keaton, R) – Michael Keaton makes his directorial debut with this well reviewed thriller that he also stars in as a suicidal hit man who falls for his next assignment, Kelly Macdonald.

SAMURAI PRINCESS (dir: Kengo Kaji, Not Rated) – After being left for dead, a young woman decides to become an android (?) and avenge the crime. From the same insane Japanese people who brought us TOKYO GORE POLICE.
SPREAD (dir: David Mackenzie, R) – Ashton Kutcher tries to defile AMERICAN GIGOLO and all it stands for with this moody drama about a boy-toy hooking up with cougars left and right. Things change when he meets his female equivalent in Margarita Levieva aka Lisa P. from ADVENTURELAND.

STAN HELSING (dir: Bo Zenga, R) – Basically, we only got this SCARY MOVIE knock-off to highlight the brilliant co-producing of Brunswick's own Elek Lars Hendrickson. That little punk is going places.

THE UGLY TRUTH (dir: Robert Luketic, R) – Katherine Heigl and Gerard Butler star as co-workers as opposite as you can imagine. There's no possibility they'll ever become romantically entangled. She's a feminist. He's a sexist caveman. It'll just never work. But when she develops some cancer they realize, despite their differences, they're both simply too attractive to let her die without initiating coitus.
^UP (dir: Pete Docter, PG) – This Pixar thing is getting a bit old. Every year they just crank out another beautiful, emotional and inspiring tale for young and old alike to enjoy. I wish they'd just screw up once in a while. I hate perfectionists.

*THE WAY WE GET BY (dir: Aron Gaudet, Not Rated) – In the past six years, three senior citizens have personally greeted nearly one million returning troops from overseas at the Bangor International Aiport. For an uncynical viewer, there are many lessons about mortality and other garbage to learn.

X-CROSS (dir: Kenta Fukasaku, Unrated) – Two nice Japanese girls head off for a weekend at a spa only to discover that they're the only sane people in the village. Still, other than the human sacrifice and mummification, it should be a nice weekend.
* = GREG's pick of the week!         ^ = Bart's pick of the week!

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