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here for the previous week's New Movies
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here for 2009 OVERVIEW!
NEW
MOVIES! DECEMBER 29, 2009 - JANUARY 4, 2010
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DIAGNOSIS: DEATH (dir: Jason Stutter, R) – Fans jonesing for more hilarity courtesy of Bret and Jemaine from FLIGHT OF THE CONCHORDS will enjoy this
wacky-ish comedy about a weekend of mayhem among human guinea pigs testing a new drug at a hospital. |
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ENCOUNTERS: SPEED DATING CAN HURT (dir: Pat
Kelman, Not Rated) – This British indie about the perils of modern dating got some nice notices when it was first released back in 2005 but has remained in limbo since then. Catch it before it slides back into obscurity forever. |
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FACING ALI (dir: Pete McCormack, R) – Apparently this guy Muhammed Ali was quite good at the sport of boxing. Here, some of the people he hit in the head very hard sing his praises. |
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*THE FIRST SATURDAY IN MAY (dir: Brad
Hennegan, PG-13) – Who’s excited about this Kentucky Derby documentary? Me, that’s who! I’m going to get into my best seersucker suit, make up a carafe of Mint Juleps and get annihilated while cheering on some overbred animals that are each worth more than my life. |
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GHOSTED (dir: Monika
Treut, Not Rated) – Avant-garde German director Monika Treut turns in her most ambitious work to
date: a haunting love story set against the disparate backdrops of Hamburg and Taipei. |
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JENNIFER'S BODY (dir: Karyn
Kusama, R) – Can being turned into a blood-vomiting demon stop the tsunami of sexiness known as Megan Fox from making men of America’s teenaged boys? No
way. Although she needs to work on acting skills that don’t involve her bare midriff. |
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KNOW YOUR MUSHROOMS (dir: Ron Mann, Not Rated) – How many times have you wandered into the forest looking for a psychotropic romp but not known which piece of fungus to shove in your face first? With this helpful documentary you’ll now be able to discern between the deadly and the delightful! |
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^LION'S DEN (dir: Pablo
Trapero, Not Rated) – Where’s the world’s hottest film scene right now? South Korea? NOPE. Romania? NOPE. It’s Argentina, dummy. And this gritty drama set in a prison for ladies proves it! |
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THE MARINE 2 (dir: Roel
Reine, R) – If you ever need reassurance that the information superhighway is a magical creation filled with the wisdom of many thoughtful souls, I suggest you read some user comments on The Internet Movie Database.
Here’s a fine example that is much more insightful about THE MARINE 2 than anything I could’ve cooked
up. |
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9 (dir: Shane Acker, PG-13) – This isn’t the one with the singing. And it’s not the one with aliens in South Africa. This is the cartoon that has Tim Burton’s name slapped all over the box even though he likely had very little to do with its inception, creation or distribution. |
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PARANORMAL ACTIVITY (dir: Oren
Peli, R) – Few films in recent memory have polarized audiences like this $15,000 horror phenomenon that, depending on the viewer, was either the scariest movie ever made or the biggest rip-off of 2009. It all seems a bit BLAIR WITCH PROJECT to me. |
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A PERFECT GETAWAY (dir: David
Twohy, R) – This routine thriller flirts with being a clever thriller for about five minutes, then calmly accepts
its fate of being utterly routine and never gets uppity again. An 'A' for effort to Timothy Olyphant though, who brings a mischievous sense of humor to the otherwise dull proceedings. |
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VAMPIRE KILLERS (dir: Phil
Claydon, R) – 2009 has definitely been the year that vampires in pop culture reached the saturation point. Fight back with this snarky British spoof in which two losers stumble upon a village of fanged beauties in suggestive outfits. |
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WEATHER GIRL (dir: Blayne Weaver, R) – After freaking out on-air at her cheating beau, a Seattle morning show weather girl finds herself single, unemployed and living on her little brother’s couch. |
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= GREG's
pick of the week! ^ = Bart's
pick of the week! |
