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click
here for the previous week's New Movies
click
here for 2010 OVERVIEW!
NEW
MOVIES! MARCH 23 - MARCH 29, 2010
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THE BLIND SIDE (dir: John Lee Hancock, PG-13) – Normally I love any movie where Godly white people get to redeem poor, helpless black people but this was so cheesy it should have come with a side of crackers. |
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BROTHERS (dir: Jim Sheridan, R) – And let me helpfully direct you to our foreign section where you can rent the original version of this and not risk the danger of seeing Natalie Portman try to emote. |
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BULLETPROOF SALESMAN (dir: Petra Epperlein / Michael Tucker, Not Rated) – Fidelis Cloer is an enterprising German man who went to Iraq in early 2003 and, realizing the war was going to take a while, decided to set up shop providing armored vehicles and other accessories to the highest bidder. This documentary tries to get inside the head of a man who calls Iraq, "the perfect war, but not as exciting as
Sarajevo." |
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A CALL GIRL (dir: Damjan
Kozole, Not Rated) – Film Movement sent us this Slovenian film about a girl from Ljubljana with plans of conquering the world. Step 1: Become a prostitute. |
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DREAD (dir: Anthony
DiBlasi, R) – An outcast film student documents, and perpetuates, his peers' greatest fears in this adaptation of a Clive Barker short story. |
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^FANTASTIC MR. FOX (dir: Wes Anderson, PG) – These special effects are lame. There's hardly any action and it's not even in 3-D. Maybe Wes Anderson needs to see a little movie called AVATAR to check out how it's done. |
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FOUR CORNERS OF SUBURBIA (dir: Elizabeth Puccini, Not Rated) – They shot this movie on Bailey Island about five years ago. And Shelly from TWIN PEAKS is in it. |
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GOGOL BORDELLO: NON STOP (dir: Margarita
Jimeno, Not Rated) – I'm calling out Eugene Hutz right here, right now. You're no Roma from Eastern Europe. You're just a kid from New Jersey with a terrible record collection. |
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THE HEART IS A DRUM MACHINE (dir: Christopher
Pomerenke, Not Rated) – In this lazy documentary, a bunch of hip kids like Jason Schwartzman and Kimya Dawson try to get to the root of why people like music. |
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KILL THEORY (dir: Chris Moore, R) – The twist in this seemingly routine horror film is that the sadistic killer forces the unsuspecting victims to off one another rather than doing the dirty work himself. |
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*LAKE MUNGO (dir: Joel Anderson, R) – This terrific Australian fake documentary earns its chills the hard way, through character development, subtlety and genuine emotion. After a teenage girl drowns during a family outing, she starts popping up as a ghostly vision in photographs and videos. This eerie debut gets nearly everything right and constantly rewires your expectations. |
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THE LARK FARM (dir: Paolo Taviani / Vittorio
Taviani, Not Rated) – Paz Vega, so great in SEX & LUCIA, has the unique problem of looking too much like Penelope Cruz. I'd say it's really hindered her career, in America at least. Anyhow, she's going for the dramatic gold with this story of the Armenian genocide. Not a big hit in Turkey, I'd imagine. |
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MAD MEN: SEASON 3 (dir: Matthew Weiner, Not Rated) – I'll start watching MAD MEN when it hits the 1970s, Don Draper has a beer gut and goes to work with a little coke dried in his nostrils. Until then, I don't care. |
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THE MEN WHO STARE AT GOATS (dir: Grant
Heslov, R) – George Clooney, Jeff Bridges and Ewan McGregor and people still didn't like it? McGregor plays a journalist investigating whether the Army has a secret psychic branch. |
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RED CLIFF (dir: John Woo, R) – John Woo's epic war film about the last days of the Han Dynasty, conveniently packaged in a 2 and a half hour version or the exceptionally epic 5 hour version. There's no wrong answer. It's all epic. |
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SERVICE (dir: Brillante Mendoza,
Unrated) – A Filipino family runs a dilapidated movie house that now serves mainly as a spot for all manner of hustlers to do their business. A perfect petri dish for the family to engage in bigamy, incest and prostitution! |
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TALHOTBLOND (dir: Barbara Schroeder, Not Rated) – This claims to be some documentary about sexual misadventures on the internet but I smell a fake. THE BLAIR WITCH PROJECT fooled people for 5 minutes over ten years ago. Get over it. |
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THE TWILIGHT SAGA: NEW MOON (dir: Chris
Weitz, PG-13) – If these vampires and werewolves don't stop fighting over moody white girls they're never going to gain any traction in the mortal world. |
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THE WEDDING SONG (dir: Karin
Albou, Unrated) – The friendship between a young Tunisian girl and a Sephardic Jewess is put under strain by the Nazi occupation of Tunisia. It won't stop them planning their weddings together and possibly making out as a stress reliever. |
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THE WHITE STRIPES: UNDER GREAT WHITE NORTHERN LIGHTS (dir: Emmett Malloy, Not Rated) – Kooky Meg and Jack White decided they hadn't ever properly toured Canada so they set out to hit every province and territory. Lucky for the denizens of Prince Edward Island and lucky for us because they made a movie out of it. |
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ZOMBIES OF MASS DESTRUCTION (dir: Kevin
Hamedani, R) – A small town in Washington finds out it has a serious zombie problem. But it's a one of those zombie problems that's equally horrific and comedic. |
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= GREG's pick of the week! ^ = Bart's
pick of the week! |