AMERICA THE BEAUTIFUL (dir: Darryl Roberts, PG-13) – This hapless documentary is so naive it's kind of adorable. Among the non-shocking revelations included here is that the fashion industry makes women and young girls feel bad about themselves and that advertising uses sex to sell stuff.

CLASH OF THE TITANS (dir: Louis Leterrier, PG-13) – America, your appetite for lame remakes will not abate, will it? Lacking all of the goofy charm of the early 80s classic, this is just a wet pile of half-baked CGI wrapped up with a ribbon of horrendous dialogue and a bow of bad acting.

EYEBORGS (dir: Richard Clabaugh, R) – In a future where privacy is non-existent, a rogue federal agent starts to believe the roving camera-bots everywhere are up to no good.

MY YEAR WITHOUT SEX (dir: Sarah Watt, Not Rated) – In this typically quirky Australian comedy, a woman is forced, because of illness, to give up all strenuous activity for a year. And that includes the horizontal mambo.

SAVING MARRIAGE (dir: John Henning / Mike Roth, PG-13) – In our second documentary this week about gay marriage, the focus is on Massachusetts or, as I like to refer to it, Gomorrahchusetts. The Bay State think they can shove their immorality down our throats like some delicious piece of Kobe beef but I, and other true patriots, will not rest until blood runs down the cobblestones of Beacon Hill and these sodomites and their sympathizers hang from The Lord's private gallows. (Don't tell the Mormons I'm being facetious)

VINCERE (dir: Marco Bellocchio, Not Rated) – Someone finally had the guts to make a movie about Mussolini's saucy love life. And the Italian provocateur behind DEVIL IN THE FLESH was just the guy to do it.