ABCD (dir: Krutin Patel, Not Rated) - The struggle of an Indian family living in New Jersey to retain a sense of their culture while being surrounded by American ideals is explored in this funny first feature from Krutin Patel.

ABSOLUT WARHOLA (dir: Stanislaw Mucha, NR) - A German filmmaker tracks down Andy Warhol's distant relatives in rural Slovakia to get their take on the pop artist. While no one really seems to understand what he did or why, they are fiercely proud of his connection to them.

ABSOLUTELY FABULOUS: SERIES 5 (dir: Dewi Humphries, NR) - Eddy and Patsy are back for more snorting, shagging and, of course, drinking. This time around, Eddy's daughter Saffron is preggers and the notion of becoming a grandmother is sending chills up her spine. Guest stars include Elton John, Minnie Driver and former Spice Girl, Emma Bunton.

ACCORDING TO SPENCER (dir: Shane Edelman, R) – Jesse Bradford, star of movies you never saw like SWIMFAN and CLOCKSTOPPERS, plays a young guy desperate to woo Mia Kirshner, the girl of his dreams. He’d have a much better chance if his goofy roommates wouldn’t interfere. Formulaic!

AERO-TROOPERS (dir: Terry Izumi, PG) - A lot of love went into this independently produced computer animated film about a boy who dreams of becoming a fighter pilot in an airborne world. Apparently the entire fate of the skies lies in this kid's hands or something.

ALL MY LOVED ONES (dir: Matej Minac, NR) - I guess it can't hurt anybody to watch another poignant Holocaust movie, featuring a benevolent gentile whose wealth and influence provide a shield for escaping Jews. Anyhow, it's in Czech.

ALONG CAME POLLY (dir: John Hamburg, PG-13) - Here's an utterly formulaic romantic comedy that coasts on the charms of the ensemble cast. Ben Stiller is typically funny as an uptight insurance man who falls for wacky and unpredictable Jennifer Aniston. However, it's the supporting players who really get to shine here. Phillip Seymour Hoffman as the obnoxious best friend, Alec Baldwin as the insane boss and Hank Azaria as the super-stud Scuba instructor who steals Stiller's wife on their honeymoon. 

AMERICAN GUN (dir: Alan Jacobs, R) - James Coburn makes his final screen appearance in the story of a man coming to terms with his daughter's tragic death. He follows the trail of the handgun that killed her back to the perpetrator and then goes all DEATH WISH on that nucka. 

AMERICAN NIGHTMARE, THE (dir: Adam Simon, NR) - This fascinating documentary produced for the Independent Film Channel explores the parallels between the turmoil of America in the 1960's and the emergence of that generation's shock horror directors. George Romero, Wes Craven, Tobe Hooper and John Carpenter are all on hand to discuss how the terror of Vietnam , the Kennedy assassinations and other events translated into the disturbing visions of NIGHT OF THE LIVING DEAD, LAST HOUSE ON THE LEFT, THE TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE and HALLOWEEN. Highly recommended.

AMERICAN SPLENDOR (dir: Robert Pulcini / Shari Springer Berman, R) - AMERICAN SPLENDOR was another of 2003's overlooked gems. Paul Giamatti and Hope Davis star as real life couple Harvey and Joyce Pekar. There are also cartoon renditions of them and the actual Harvey and Joyce show up as well. Winner of the Grand Jury Prize at Sundance 2003. 

AMERICAN WEDDING (dir: Jesse Dylan, UR ) - The undisputed worst film of 2003! So facile and unfunny it will make your eyes bleed. It's not just in poor taste and unfunny, it's shockingly amateurishly made. Avoid like the Ebola virus on a sunny afternoon! 

ANARCHIST COOKBOOK, THE (dir: Jordan Susman, R) - College hijinks on a budget. Think Animal House meets Igby Goes Down. 

AND NOW LADIES & GENTLEMEN (dir: Claude Lelouch, PG-13) - Jeremy Irons plays a burnt-out jewel thief who embarks on a sailing trip around the world in order to find meaning in his life. In Morocco he meets a lonely nightclub singer who is running from her own demons. Will these two misfits be able to make sense of their senseless world? Directed by one of France 's grand masters, Claude Lelouch. 

AND STARRING PANCHO VILLA AS HIMSELF (dir: Bruce Beresford, Not Rated) - Antonio Banderas stars as the real life Mexican revolutionary who let Hollywood finance and film his war. Colm Feore plays D.W. Griffith, the film pioneer who strikes an unlikely alliance with Pancho. The fallout changed movies forever and certainly adds credibility to the theory that truth is sometimes stranger than fiction. 

BAD SANTA (dir: Terry Zwigoff, Unrated) – Billy Bob Thornton stars as a loveable department store Santa who is more interested in drinking spirits than in the Christmas spirit. Directed by GHOST WORLD’s Terry Zwigoff, this retains his sense of mean-spirited fun. Co-starring Bernie Mac and the late, mildly-great John Ritter.

BANG BANG YOU'RE DEAD (dir: Guy Ferland, NR) - Ben Foster stars as a troubled youngster being bullied at school who thinks his situation might be alleviated with a gun. I can't possibly imagine how a kid in America might get the idea that violence is the answer to their problems.

BARBERSHOP 2: BACK IN BUSINESS (dir: Kevin Rodney Sullivan, PG-13) - Everyone's favorite head cutters run into trouble when national chain Nappy Cutz moves in across the street. Wll the local clientele be faithful or will the lure of milk baths and aromatherapy pedi-mani's be too hard to resist?

BETWEEN STRANGERS (dir: Edoardo Ponti, R) - This small film tells the story of three women searching for meaning in their lives. A stellar cast includes Sophia Loren, Mira Sorvino, Deborah Kara Unger, Gerard Depardieu, Malcolm McDowell, Pete Postlethwaite and Klaus Maria Brandauer. Directed by Edoardo Ponti, Sophia Loren's son. 

BETWEEN TWO WOMEN (dir: Steven Woodcock, Not Rated) - Two repressed women in northern England reach out to one another to escape the drudgery of everyday life. Nicely acted, this drama originally aired on British television. 

BEYOND BORDERS (dir: Martin Campbell, R) - Angelina Jolie plays a pampered socialite who ditches her privileged lifestyle when a hunky humanitarian (Clive Owen) convinces her to help refugees in Africa . Luckily for her, this affords her the opportunity to wear the latest from the Ralph Lauren safari collection. 

BIG EMPTY, THE (dir: Steve Anderson, R) - Jon Favreau stars as a guy stuck in a desert town that may or may not be a parallel universe. Daryl Hannah, Kelsey Grammer, Joey Lauren Adams and Sean Bean co-star.

BIG FISH (dir: Tim Burton, PG-13) - BIG FISH has been widely praised as Tim Burton's masterpiece. Personally, I consider that a bold statement about the man that brought us PEE WEE'S BIG ADVENTURE, but I will admit this is impressive stuff. Billy Crudup attempts to get to know his dying father (Albert Finney) but is instead treated to fanciful tales from the old man's youth. Ewan McGregor plays Finney's younger self. 

BILLABONG ODYSSEY (dir: Philip Boston, PG) - Here's a surfing documentary that makes THE ENDLESS SUMMER like look an afternoon in the kiddie pool. Big wave riders from all over the planet set out in search of the Mt. Everest of waves. Extreme!

BLACKBOARDS (dir: Samira Makhmalbaf , NR) - Anyone in our neck of the woods worried about education budget cuts should check this out. In Iran , a group of schoolteachers travel from rural outpost to rural outpost carrying the blackboards on their backs! I don't want to hear any more whining about having to hold a bake sale from anybody.

BONHOEFFER (dir: Martin Doblmeier, Not Rated) - Dietrich Bonhoeffer was a German theologian who offered one of the first voices of resistance to Hitler and the Nazi Party. This documentary tells his story through archival footage and interviews with his family and students. 

BOUNCE KO GALS (dir: Masato Harada, NR) - Called "queasily convincing" by The Village Voice, BOUNCE KO GALS follows three teenage escort girls in Tokyo as they navigate their way through a night filled with angry clients, drug dealers and the Mob.

BOYS OF 2ND STREET PARK , THE (dir: Dan Klores / Ron Berger, R) - This documentary reunites a group of men who all came of age in Brighton Beach , Brooklyn in the 60's. The story of the divergent paths these young men took during a turbulent time and the ramifications their decisions continue to have. 

BRIEF CROSSING (dir: Catherine Breillat, Not Rated) - Catherine Breillat is the French provocateur who gave us FAT GIRL and ROMANCE. She continues to explore the hidden sexual lives of women with this simple tale of a May-December relationship. The twist is that this time it's a 30-something woman falling for a teenage boy. Saucy. 

BRING IT ON AGAIN (dir: Damon Santostefano, PG-13) - Kirsten Dunst, Eliza Dushku and Gabrielle Union are nowhere in sight, but the cheering goes on. A cast of unknowns amiably attempts to fill the pom-poms for this sequel to what many critics refer to as the CITIZEN KANE of cheerleading films. 

BROTHER BEAR (dir: Disney's, G) - Here's proof that hand-drawn animation isn't dead. Disney's latest is the story of a young native American boy who is magically turned into a bear in order to learn some valuable life lessons. Alive with classic themes of honor and redemption, this gives anything by Pixar a run for its money. I could have done without the lame Phil Collins songs though.

BUFFALO SOLDIERS (dir: Gregor Jordan, R) - Repeatedly delayed from release after the terrorist attacks of 2001, BUFFALO SOLDIERS is an irreverent look at the U.S. military that was deemed insensitive by people before they even saw it. This is unfortunate because what they missed is a winning and edgy comedy filled with great actors like Ed Harris, Joaquin Phoenix and Scott Glenn. 

BUNKER, THE (dir: Rob Green, R) - To commemorate D-Day, here's an English produced horror film about seven German soldiers trapped in a bunker in 1944. Strange things start to happen and they quickly realize they aren't alone. The only question is, are their companions among the living or dead?

CABIN FEVER (dir: Eli Roth, R) - Here's my favorite film to come to DVD yet this year. It's a super-campy gross-out future cult classic that will make you cringe and laugh, sometimes simultaneously. Peter Jackson, director of THE LORD OF THE RINGS has gone on record as saying he loved it and you will too. 

CALENDAR GIRLS (dir: Nigel Cole, PG-13) - For fans of "nice" British movies, only. Helen Mirren stars in this FULL MONTY-meets-SAVING GRACE-style romp about proper middle-class, middle-aged women who decide to take their clothes off for charity.

CAMERA (dir: Richard Martini, NR) - The film manifesto of Dogme 95 dictates that the film must be shot on location, hand-held cameras must be used and no artificial light or sound added. Unfortunately, there is no rule about the film being good. So, although CAMERA adheres to all of the principles created by Lars Von Trier and Thomas Vinterberg, it didn't bother being noteworthy for any reason of its own. 

CAMP (dir: Todd Graff, PG-13) - CAMP was one of 2003's buried treasures, but those who saw it loved it. It's an exuberant comedy set at a performing arts summer camp. Full of fun songs, energetic performances as well as the usual camp hi-jinks, this might be the perfect antidote for the winter blahs. 

CAPTURING THE FRIEDMANS (dir: Andrew Jarecki, NR) - 2003 was a great year for documentaries. SPELLBOUND, WINGED MIGRATION and THE FOG OF WAR followed on the heels of BOWLING FOR COLUMBINE and proved that a non-fiction film could be a successful commodity. In this crowded field, CAPTURING THE FRIEDMANS rose to the surface as not only the best doc of the year but one of the best films period. The strange and sad odyssey of one Long Island family's downward spiral amid accusations of child molestation will haunt you for days. The undertakings are rendered eerier than necessary by The Friedman's proclivity for videotaping nearly everything that unfolds in their house. Family meals, discussions and arguments are all preserved for posterity. Never has voyeurism been so immediate and claustrophobic. Amazing. 

CARNAGE (dir: Delphine Gleize, NR) - In Spain, a bull is killed in the ring and various parts of its body find their way into the lives of several people. A young girl gets a bone as a treat for her dog. A scientist receives the eyes for research. A taxidermist gets the horns as a present. This unusual film subtly demonstrates that in the spontaneity and chaos of life there are underlying factors that connect us all.

CAROL'S JOURNEY (dir: Imanol Uribe, NR) - The latest film released in the Film Movement series is the story of a young American girl who travels to her Spanish mother's home village during the height of Spain's civil war. There she learns all kinds of patented coming-of-age film lessons about boys, grumpy Grandpas and absentee Dads. 

CASA DE LOS BABYS (dir: John Sayles, R) - John Sayles makes movies about Big Ideas, and his characters and dialogue often carry so much representational weight that they lose a good deal of naturalness and realism. Luckily he works with great actors like Lili Taylor, Mary Steenburgen and Maggie Gyllenhaal, who give strong emotional resonance to this story of six women from the USA trying to adopt babies in South America . 

CAT IN THE HAT, DR. SEUSS' THE (dir: Bo Welch, PG) - Why has the gentle, subtle genius of Dr. Suess inspired two of the crassest, loudest and ugliest "family" films in recent memory. After this and THE GRINCH, I hold out little hope for the upcoming adaptation of THE LORAX starring Adam Sandler.

CAT RETURNS, THE (dir: Hiroyuki Morita, Not Rated) - The latest animated fantasy from Japan's Studio Ghibli, the studio that brought us SPIRITED AWAY and PRINCESS MONONOKE, doesn't have the same epic, mythic quality that makes Miyazaki's films linger in your subconscious. Instead, it's a fun and witty adventure story of a girl who saves a cat from being hit by a car, only to find out he is the Prince of the Kingdom of Cats , and she must marry him as her reward.

CHAPPELLE'S SHOW : SEASON ONE (dir: Dave Chappelle, NR) - Dave Chapppelle has made a name for himself by being the most outrageous stand up comic working today. I suppose in an age where comedians seem to covet most highly the opportunity to star in crappy Dr. Suess adaptations, it's refreshing that someone is still working hard to shock people.

CHASING LIBERTY (dir: Andy Cadiff, PG-13) - Mandy Moore reprises her role as the all-American Everygirl in love for the very first time, only this time she's the President's daughter.

CHEAPER BY THE DOZEN (dir: Shawn Levy, PG) - Steve Martin once again proves himself the definitive movie dad as the father of twelve in this remake of the Fifties classic. Not even rap music and iced mocha lattes can keep this fun-for-the-whole-family film from feeling terribly old-fashioned.

CHI-HWA-SEON: PAINTED FIRE (dir: Kwan-taek Im, NR) - It ain't easy being a genius! This visually stunning film about famed 19th century Korean painter Ohwon proves that tortured artists aren't just young and French.

CHILDREN OF THE CENTURY (dir: Diane Kurys, NR) - Historical romances don't come much grander than this. Juliette Binoche plays George Sand and Benoit Magimel (last seen slapping Isabelle Huppert around in THE PIANO TEACHER) plays Alfred de Musset. They wear lavish costumes and fight tempestuously and it's all terribly French.

CITY OF GOD (dir: Fernando Meirelles / Katia Lund, R) - Finally arriving on DVD after several delays and well over a year after its initial theatrical release is CITY OF GOD, my absolute favorite film released in 2003. It's the story of Rocket, a young kid from the slums of Rio who sets out to rise above his surroundings and become a professional photographer. But this is not just the story one person, it's the story of an entire community, marginalized and discounted by middle class society, but rich with a passion and humanity that money can't buy. Director Fernando Meirelles announces his name to the world with a film so electrifyingly alive that he immediately joins the ranks of Quentin Tarantino, Paul Thomas Anderson, Lukas Moodyson and Wes Anderson as one of cinema's most promising and original voices. Don't even consider not watching this.

CIVIL BRAND (dir: Neema Barnette, R) - As a genre, the women in prison film has always been massively unappreciated. This super-gritty tale of a woman doing time for killing her abusive husband probably won't change that, but it may deserve to be seen. If for no other reason than Lark Voorhies aka Lisa on SAVED BY THE BELL plays one of the hard luck chicks doing time. 

CLOSE TO LEO (dir: Christophe Honore, Not Rated) – A French family must come to terms with son Leo’s battle with AIDS. Hardest hit is his youngest brother who is kept in the dark about the disease. Filmed on the lovely Brittany coast.

COCK & BULL STORY (dir: Billy Hayes, Not Rated) - The theme of young men confused about their sexuality has frequently been explored in film. As has boxing. To the best of my knowledge, the two have, thus far, never met. In summation, the gay boxing genre starts here!

CODE, THE (dir: Manuel Boursinhac, R) - From France comes this gritty crime thriller following an ex-con's attempt to go straight. When an old friend tries to get him to take part in one last heist he finds himself in a real conundrum. Of course, if he'd ever seen a single film from the crime genre he'd know that the "one last heist" thing never works out too well.

COLD CREEK MANOR (dir: Mike Figgis, R) - Dennis Quaid and Sharon Stone want to escape the pressures of the big city and start enjoying country life. Unfortunately, the house they buy used to be owned by greasy psycho Stephen Dorff. And he wants it back!

COLD MOUNTAIN (dir: Anthony Minghella, R) - Anthony Minghella, director of THE ENGLISH PATIENT and THE TALENTED MR. RIPLEY, returns with his latest sweeping literary adaptation. Jude Law, Nicole Kidman and Renee Zellweger all turn in splendid performances, once you get used to their goofy Civil War era Southern accents.

COMIC BOOK: THE MOVIE (dir: Mark Hamill, PG-13) - Luke Skywalker directs a movie! Mark Hamill also stars as the documentary filmmaker who goes to the world's largest comic book convention and encounters a level of dorky fandom that he never imagined. Featuring cameos by Kevin Smith, Stan Lee and, umm, Hugh Hefner.

COMMON GROUND (dir: Adolfo Aristarain, Not Rated) - Set against Argentina 's economic crisis, this is the story of a middle-aged couple forced to restructure their privileged existence when the husband is forced into early retirement. As they relocate from Buenos Aires to the countryside, they discover that their continuing love for one another is all they need to subsist. 

CONCERT FOR GEORGE (dir: David Leland, PG-13) - Two down, two to go. Ringo's next.

COOLER, THE (dir: Wayne Kramer, R) - Dealing with similar themes as last year's INTACTO, THE COOLER explores the nature of luck and whether it's a transferable commodity. William H. Macy plays a sad-sack loser of such proportions that he's employed by a casino to have his bad luck rub off on gamblers with hot streaks. When he falls in love with a sassy cocktail waitress, his luck takes a drastic upswing. This inevitably leads to conflicts with Alec Baldwin, the vicious casino boss.

CURB YOUR ENTHUSIAM: THE COMPLETE FIRST SEASON (dir: Larry David, NR) - Larry David, the co-creator of SEINFELD, proves that he was as responsible for that show's success as Jerry was, with this wickedly funny satire of modern Hollywood . He plays himself, albeit a selfish, rude and amoral caricature of himself. Hopefully. Misunderstandings, lies and awkward situations abound. You will laugh even as you find your skin crawling from discomfort. 

CURB YOUR ENTHUSIAM: THE COMPLETE SECOND SEASON (dir: Larry David, Not Rated) – Larry David is God. “Trick Or Treat”. Funniest. Episode. Ever.

CURE (dir: Kiyoshi Kurosawa, NR) - It's another masterpiece of Japanese horror! When a series of gruesome murders around Tokyo surrender few clues to who or what is responsible, a plucky detective searches out the answer with the assistance of a spunky psychiatrist. Awesome. 

DADDY AND THEM (dir: Billy Bob Thornton, R) - For the first time since SLING BLADE, Billy Bob Thornton is the writer, director and star of a movie. The fact that this movie did not receive a theatrical release is probably a good indication that the same level of quality control was not in effect. Did you know Billy Bob has a phobia of antique furniture? Really. 

DEAD LIKE ME: SEASON 1 (dir: Bryan Fuller, Not Rated) – A cynical chick (think Thora Birch in GHOSTWORLD, but as an office temp) gets killed by a flying toilet seat and immediately becomes a grim reaper, with Mandy Patinkin as her boss. Slightly annoying SEX AND THE CITY type voiceovers detract from the quirky dark comedy.

DEATHWATCH (dir: Michael J. Bassett, R) – Set on The Western Front in 1917, DEATHWATCH is the story of a group of soldiers being stalked by a mysterious killer in an abandoned enemy trench. Whether the killer is a German or a supernatural force remains to be seen. Uncannily, this film has virtually the same plot as THE BUNKER which was released two weeks ago.

DEBT, THE (dir: Krzysztof Krauze, Not Rated) - Two young entrepreneurs in Poland are sucked into a scheme by a shady Russian businessman that turns out to be a dangerous proposition. The lure of the capitalist lifestyle may be too strong for these young men to resist and it may have dangerous fallout for their families. 

DECASIA: THE STATE OF DECAY (dir: Bill Morrison, NR) - The latest entry in the 'Music + Images' genre which includes Baraka and the -Qatsi trilogy, DECASIA hypnotizes with a montage of decayed archival film footage.

DEMONLOVER (dir: Olivier Assayas, R) - Part straightforward corporate thriller, part moral indictment of the brutality of commerce and the commerce of brutality, DEMONLOVER is one of the year's most unusual films. Coming on like the love child of David Cronenberg's icier work and one of Nicholas Roeg's 70's head-trips, this story of the sleazy inner workings of big business fascinates even as it confounds.

DERRIDA (dir: Kirby Dick / Amy Ziering Kofman, NR) - Who wants to watch a documentary about a French philosopher? Oh, come on. What if he is THE rock star deconstructionist cultural philosophy? Seriously, it's way more fun than it sounds.

DICKIE ROBERTS: FORMER CHILD STAR (dir: Sam Weisman, PG-13) - Forecast: 95% chance of unfunny, 5% chance of lame.

DIE MOMMIE DIE! (dir: Mark Rucker, R) - Since summer is the season for camp, here's a winking ode to THE VALLEY OF THE DOLLS style melodramas of the 1960's. Featuring appearances by Jason Priestly, Natasha Lyonne and Phillip Baker Hall, this hilarious story of adultery,  double-crosses and murder will be best appreciated by people with nasty senses of humor.  

DINNER FOR FIVE : SEASON 1 (dir: Jon Favreau, Not Rated) - Actor, writer and director Jon Favreau came up with the novel concept for this television show. He gets together with four people, mostly actors, and they have dinner. That's it. They talk; we listen. What may sound simple or tedious is actually fascinating and intimate. By turns hilarious, vulgar and insightful, this is thoroughly entertaining stuff. Guests include Vince Vaughn, Daryl Hannah, David Cross, Marilyn Manson, Dwight Yoakam and loads more.

DIRTY PRETTY THINGS (dir: Stephen Frears, R) - Stephen Frears, one of the most quietly reliable directors working today, turns in one of the best of his career and one of 2003's most universally praised films. Audrey Tautou from AMELIE plays a Turkish immigrant in who gets caught up in London 's sleazy underworld. 

DISINFORMATION: THE COMPLETE SERIES (dir: Richard Metzger, NR) - An interesting mixture of RIPLEY'S BELIEVE IT OR NOT, JACKASS and 60 MINUTES, this show was a sensation when it aired in the UK. It was bought by the Sci-Fi Network for America but they got cold feet due to the extreme subject matter and never aired it. 

DOG DAYS (dir: Ulrich Seidl, UR ) - From Austria comes this highly-acclaimed satire of the banality of middle-class life. Following several intertwining stories in a Viennese suburb during the hottest days of summer, the rigorous film is spiritually akin to that of fellow-countryman Michael Haneke (THE PIANO TEACHER, CODE UNKNOWN). Get ready to be disturbed.

DOGVILLE (dir: Lars Von Trier, NR) - A sensation at Cannes in 2003, DOGVILLE is inexplicably still awaiting a theatrical release in America . That's why Bart & Greg's had to get all freaky-deaky and import a copy from the Orient. Nicole Kidman stars as a woman on the run in Depression era Colorado who is first given safe harbor by the town of Dogville and then turned upon. Fans of Von Trier's female tragedies BREAKING THE WAVES and DANCER IN THE DARK will not be disappointed. 

DOGWALKER, THE (dir: Paul Duran, NR) - A young man in Los Angeles has fallen on hard times and takes a job as a live-in dogwalker. He soon finds that his employer and her teenage daughter have more in mind for him than taking care of the mutt. Presumably sex. 

DON 'T TEMPT ME (dir: Agustín Díaz Yanes, R) - This wins my award for outlandish plot of the week. Victoria Abril and Penelope Cruz are dueling angels from Heaven and Hell battling from ultimate supremacy. Their task: to win over the soul of a punch-drunk boxer played by Y TU MAMA TAMBIEN's Gael Garcia Bernal.

DOPAMINE (dir: Mark Decena, R) - Does love exist, or is it just chemicals? Sundance presents us with a painter and a computer programmer who have to figure out if they're involved in a right-brain or left-brain type of romance. Only Koy Koy, a cute little flying creature that lives in their computer, knows for sure. 

DRACULA: PAGES FROM A VIRGIN'S DIARY (dir: Guy Maddin, Not Rated) - Guy Maddin has been called the Canadian Poet laureate of cinematic weirdness, for good reason. Here he takes a performance by the Royal Winnipeg Ballet and films it with old fashioned cameras and filters until it looks 80 years old. Add in a score by Gustav Mahler and you essentially have a modern silent film. It's unclear whether the intention is to parody the silent genre or to revere it but it's indisputable that Maddin has created a "lush, gorgeously expressionistic fantasia." 

DUMMY (dir: Greg Pritikin, R) - Adrien Brody follows up his Academy Award winning performance in THE PIANIST by playing an offbeat loser desperate to break free of his weird family. His way out: becoming a big time ventriloquist. 

DUPLEX (dir: Danny DeVito, PG-13) - The likeability of Ben Stiller and Drew Barrymore is severely strained in this ugly, loud comedy directed by Danny Devito. They play a young couple willing to do anything to get rid of their elderly neighbor... including murder. Not only does DUPLEX shamelessly rip off Devito's own THROW MOMMA FROM THE TRAIN, but it omits all the laughs. 

DUST TO DUST (POR LA LIBRE) (dir: Juan Carlos De Llaca, R) - From Mexico comes this story of two brothers who partake in a hilarious road trip in order to fulfill their dead grandfather's dying wish.

EASY RIDERS, RAGING BULLS: HOW THE SEX 'N' DRUGS 'N' ROCK 'N' ROLL GENERATION SAVED HOLLYWOOD (dir: Kenneth Bowser, Not Rated) - Did you know that lots of Hollywood geniuses were doing some seriously crazy drugs and behaving inappropriately in public in the 70's? Didn't get to read Peter Biskind's racy, gossipy book on the subject? See the movie!

EDDIE IZZARD HOSTS: WE KNOW WHERE YOU LIVE. LIVE! (dir: Lisa Chapman, Not Rated) – Everyone’s favorite cross-dressing stand up comedian hosts a benefit for Amnesty International. Filmed live at London ’s Wembley Arena, this features performances by leading Brit humorists Vic Reeves, Harry Hill and Jonathan Ross as well as music by Badly Drawn Boy, Stereophonics and U2.

ELEPHANT (dir: Gus Van Sant, R) - Inspired by the Columbine shootings, Gus Van Sant's eerily realistic vision of high school is the ultimate antidote to the slick, idealized version that John Hughes and his ilk have portrayed in movies and on TV for decades. Let ELEPHANT not only serve as Van Sant's official apology for his own FINDING FORRESTER, but also as a reminder of his past glories, such as TO DIE FOR and MY OWN PRIVATE IDAHO.

ETOILES: DANCERS OF THE PARIS OPERA BALLET (dir: Nils Tavernier, NR) - Have you ever wondered what goes on behind the scenes at the Paris Opera Ballet. Well, neither have I. Someone must have, though, because they made a movie about it.

EUREKA (dir: Shinji Aoyama, Not Rated) - A bus is hijacked by a homicidal madman. The only survivors are the driver, a teen-aged boy and his younger sister. A year passes and the three, still unable to relate to the outside world, are drawn together by a series of mysterious murders. This quietly ambitious Japanese import was released in American theaters a few years back to rave reviews, but has yet to be released domestically on video or DVD . We got tired of waiting, so we had one sent over from Hong Kong .

EVENHAND (dir: Joseph Pierson, R) - Part powerful cop movie, part goofy comedy, EVENHAND is a movie with its hands in more than one cookie jar. Bill Dawes and Bill Sage are both terrific playing cops way out on the edge but, ultimately, the movie can't decide which genre to commit to. 

EVENT, THE (dir: Thom Fitzgerald, R) - Parker Posey makes a rare dramatic performance as a lawyer investigating whether an AIDS victim died of the disease or something more sinister. Olympia Dukakis and Sarah Polley co-star.

FEAR OF THE DARK (dir: K.C. Bascombe, PG-13) - This low-budget horror film offers a few decent scares but, ultimately, doesn't amount to much. Two brothers battle dark forces in their house when their parents are out for the evening. A warning to gorehounds: this film is rated PG-13.

FIFTY FIRST DATES (dir: Peter Segal, PG-13) – Adam Sandler and Drew Barrymore try to rekindle their WEDDING SINGER chemistry, but come up painfully short. Even in the laziest of his films, you can usually count on a few redeeming gags from the prince of puerile. Not this time. Sean Astin gets an A for effort as Drew’s juiced-up bodybuilder brother with a troublesome lisp.

FIGHTING TEMPTATIONS, THE (dir: Jonathan Lynn, PG-13) - Cuba Gooding alert! B & G's absolute fave actor is back and this time he's got Beyonce with him! In SNOW DOGS Cuba went to Alaska to claim an inheritance and got caught up in a dogsled race. In THE FIGHTING TEMPTATIONS Cuba goes home to Georgia to claim an inheritance and gets mixed up with a gospel choir. That crazy Cuba will do anything for an inheritance!

FIREFLY DREAMS (dir: John Williams, NR) - A spoiled young girl in Japan is sent to live with relatives in the countryside for the summer and while there learns a lot about living and a little bit about love.

FIRST YEAR, THE (dir: Davis Guggenheim, Not Rated) - This Peabody Award winning documentary follows five young teachers through their first year on the job. Their struggle to connect with the students is poignant. Their struggle to perform the job amidst budget cuts and outdated resources is nearly tragic.

FIRST, LAST AND DEPOSIT (dir: Peter Hyoguchi, Not Rated) - The struggle of the working poor is seen through the eyes of a thirteen-year-old girl in this drama that has been called "a modern day Grapes of Wrath". When Tessa's mother is unable to make ends meet, mother and daughter take to living in their car on the privileged streets of Santa Barbara , California . This powerful film, the winner of numerous awards at film festivals around the world, is an illuminating look at the disparity between rich and poor in what is often, erroneously, referred to as a classless society. 

FLOWER OF EVIL, THE (dir: Claude Chabrol, R) - France 's master of suspense, Claude Chabrol, returns with this story of long dormant secrets that continue to haunt a family. On the eve of a political election, a corpse appears that threatens to blow open a lifetime's worth of lies and deceit. 

FOG OF WAR, THE (dir: Errol Morris, PG-13) - Errol Morris, documentarian of all things weird and sometimes woolly, turns his camera on Robert McNamara, former secretary of defense and "the architect of Vietnam ." From more than twenty hours of interview footage Morris presents an in-depth look at a complicated man who is equally respected and reviled. As Roger Ebert says, "I hope someone in the White House looks at this film now."

FREAKS AND GEEKS: THE COMPLETE SERIES (dir: Paul Feig / Judd Apatow, NR) - Absolute perfection in a TV show. Creator Paul Feig shares a painfully funny vision of high school circa 1980, brought to life by a brilliant cast of gangly young actors, that gets away with its nostalgia through subtle, character-driven writing and a rocking soundtrack. 

FREDDY VS. JASON (dir: Ronny Yu, R) - Horror fans have been foaming at the mouth in anticipation of this movie ever since it was hinted at during the finale of JASON GOES TO HELL in 1993. Although it's absolute schlock, fans of the genre will be pleased. A nice balance of fright and laughs may even help this cross over to other audiences. It's fun and put together with panache. 

FRIEND (dir: Kwak Kyung-Taek, Not Rated) - Breaking box-office records in Korea , FRIEND is a stylish gangster thriller about four childhood friends who grow up to be violent rivals. Fans of SHIRI and TELL ME SOMETHING take note.

FUTURAMA: VOLUME 3 (dir: Matt Groening, Not Rated) - Did you know that one of Al Gore's daughters was a writer for FUTURAMA? I always knew those Gore girls would do something with their lives.

GASOLINE (dir: Monica Stambrini, NR) - Personally, I've been wondering what would happen if someone mixed elements of PRETTY IN PINK and THE CEMENT GARDEN. In this Italian film, two teen lesbians must hide the death of one of their mothers in order to stay together. This movie made a big splash at The Toronto Film Festival and Outfest.

GHOSTS OF THE ABYSS (dir: James Cameron, PG) - James Cameron's Titanic fixation is starting to get a little creepy. After seven years of inactivity he returns to filmmaking with... a documentary about that ill-fated ship. He and his buddy Bill Paxton take a voyage to the bottom of the sea and cruise around in nifty little submarines. Hopefully, they find Kate Winslet's necklace.

GIRL OF YOUR DREAMS, THE (dir: Fernando Trueba, R) - The big winner at Spain's Goya Awards a couple of years ago, THE GIRL OF YOUR DREAMS stars Penelope Cruz as a member of an acting troop sent to make a film in Berlin during Spain's civil war. Although she and her acting amigos are glad to be away from the war at home they soon discover nasty things are brewing in the Fatherland. To complicate matters, Germany 's Minister of Propaganda takes a fancy to lovely Penelope. 

GIRL WITH A PEARL EARRING (dir: Peter Webber, PG-13) - What this film about 17th Century Dutch painter Johannes Vermeer lacks in dramatic tension is made up for by a stunningly beautiful visual style, and a subtle performance by Scarlet Johansson as his favorite subject. 

GIRLHOOD (dir: Liz Garbus, Not Rated) - Academy Award nominated director Liz Garbus continues to extract subject matter from America 's penal system. Following up THE FARM and THE EXECUTION OF WANDA JEAN, she turns her camera on two teenage girls in Baltimore 's Waxter Juvenile Facility, incarcerated for violent crimes they scarcely seem to understand. Over the course of three years she follows the girls' gradual acceptance of their wrongdoing and their cautious optimism for the future. Not nearly as depressing as it sounds. 

GIRLS WILL BE GIRLS (dir: Richard Day, R) - In the grand tradition of SORORITY BOYS and VALLEY OF THE DOLLS comes GIRLS WILL BE GIRLS, a snarky Hollywood farce so dead-on and rude that you quickly forget that the three main female characters are played by men.

GOD IS GREAT AND I'M NOT (dir: Pascale Bailly, Unrated) - France's most adorable export, Audrey Tautou, stars in this pre-AMELIE film about a young woman trying to sort out her religious beliefs, with comical results. 

GODZILLA, MOTHRA & KING GHIDORAH: GIANT MONSTERS ALL -OUT ATTACK (dir: Shusuke Kaneko, Not Rated) - I think the title pretty clearly states what's going on here.

GOOD BOY ! (dir: John Hoffman, PG) - A dog from outer space (voiced by Matthew Broderick) comes to earth to rally all the dogs into taking over and ruling the humans. Seriously. 

GOTHIKA (dir: Mathieu Kassovitz, R) - If you like your thrillers improbable and muddled, the latest Halle Berry vehicle will certainly spin your wheels. Although directed with flash by French hipster Mathieu Kassovitz, GOTHIKA ultimately can't account for its head-scratching plot turns. 

GRIND (dir: Casey La Scala, PG-13) - Four friends fresh out of high school decide to ditch college and try to make it as pro skaters. That sort of sounds like DVD Explosion employee Kurt, except without the pro skater aspirations. But hey, at least Kurt finished high school.

HANGMAN'S CURSE (dir: Rafal Zielinski, PG-13) - A high school is plagued by mysterious deaths. A team of investigators go undercover to investigate and discover... a lack of Christian values. Anytime a movie has the distinction of having insane neo-con film reviewer Michael Medved say it has "an important underlying message", you know you're dealing with propaganda. Creepy, but for all the wrong reasons.

HAUNTED MANSION, THE (dir: Rob Minkoff, PG) - Eddie Murphy continues to remove every memory of why we ever thought he was funny with this lame kiddie comedy based on the Disneyland attraction. Even your children will barely tolerate this.

HEART OF ME, THE (dir: Thaddeus O'Sullivan, R) - Paul Bettany, Helena Bonham Carter and Olivia Williams star in this love triangle out of control. A man falls in love with his sister-in-law with predictably disastrous results.

HELLBREEDER (dir: Johannes Roberts / James Eaves, R) - What the world needs now is another horror film about unspeakable evil in a clown suit terrorizing the children of a sleepy town, with only a beautiful mother and her hot love interest standing in its evil path. Bingo.

HELL'S HIGHWAY (dir: Bret Wood, NR) - This documentary examines the legendary drivers education films that provided gruesome footage of accidents in order to scare young drivers into being safe and responsible on the road. If only these films had been around when James Dean was a student driver... 

HEROD'S LAW (LA LEY DE HERODES) (dir: Luis Estrada, R) - This satirical look at the banality of bureaucracy follows an honest man who, in his tenure as a small town mayor, learns that there is no option but dishonesty. 

HOLLYWOOD NORTH (dir: Peter O'Brian, R) - Matthew Modine plays a first-time film producer in Canada who's got a hot property that can't fail. That is, until a big-time Hollywood actor gets involved to give the picture some star-power. And you know what happens when stupid Americans meddle in another country's business. 

HONEY (dir: Bille Woodruff, PG-13) - Honey Daniels has a dream. She wants to be a famous dancer in booty-shaking rap videos. While her dream may seem rather trivial compared to some, say Martin Luther King's, it is still a dream. You go, girl!

HOPE SPRINGS (dir: Mark Herman, PG-13) - Colin Firth! Heather Graham! Minnie Driver! They're all so lovable, how could this frothy romantic comedy that nobody's ever heard of be bad?

HOUSE OF SAND AND FOG (dir: Vadim Perelman, R) - Jennifer Connelly and Ben Kingsley star as two people battling for the ownership of a waterfront bungalow. She is a suicidal alcoholic who inherited the house from her father and quickly proceeded to lose it for tax reasons. He is an Iranian immigrant who buys it from a government auction with the hope of reselling for a profit. As these two are drawn into each others' orbit, a battle of wills ensues that has devastating results. Ben Kingsley and Shohreh Aghashloo, as his long-suffering wife, were both nominated for Academy Awards.

HOUSE OF THE DEAD (dir: Uwe Boll, R) - Just rent CABIN FEVER instead.

I WILL SURVIVE (SOBRE VIVIRE) (dir: Alfonso Albacete / David Menkes, NR) - No, this is not the Gloria Gaynor biopic we've all been waiting for. It's a Spanish film about a young mother trying to meet Mr. Right, but falling for a gay dude instead. Is their love crazy enough to survive in our crazy world?

I'LL BE THERE (dir: Craig Ferguson, PG-13) - Opera diva-let Charlotte Church makes her movie debut as the long lost daughter of rocker Craig Ferguson (who also wrote and directed). Although clichéd and somewhat sappy, fans of clichéd, sappy British movies should enjoy it.

IN AMERICA (dir: Jim Sheridan, PG-13) - One of last year's finest films, IN AMERICA is the story of a young Irish family who bring their hopes and dreams to New York City in attempt to leave behind the death of a child. Enriched with a humanity all too rare in movies, IN AMERICA is a crowd pleaser that doesn't condescend or patronize its audience. Nominated at the Academy Awards for Best Actress, Best Supporting Actor and Best Original Screenplay. 

IN JULY (dir: Fatih Akin, Not Rated) – This winning German romantic comedy examines whether love is predetermined, or if each of us is the master of his or her fate. A young woman tries to woo her crush with astrology but accidentally points him in a young Turkish woman’s direction. Now she has to catch up with him and attempt to dissuade him as he sets out on an uproarious road trip to Turkey .

IN LIVING COLOR: SEASON ONE (dir: Keenen Ivory Wayans, Not Rated) - Here marks the beginning of Jim Carrey's skyrocket to fame. Here also marks the beginning and the end of anybody mistaking the Wayans brothers for comic geniuses. But check out J. Lo as a Fly Girl!

IN MY SKIN (dir: Marina De Van, Not Rated) - Francois Ozon collaborator Marina de Van makes her directorial debut and stars in this exploration of one woman's horrific obsession with her body. After an accident, a young woman becomes fascinated with her injuries and eventually starts inflicting more upon herself. Sure to join the ranks of THE PIANO TEACHER as a self-mutilation masterpiece.

IN THE CUT (dir: Jane Campion, UR ) - Meg Ryan steps out of her hermetically sealed universe of romantic comedies and into this grungy erotic thriller. Unfortunately, the film is a vast disappointment, wasting the talents of director Jane Campion and co-stars Mark Ruffalo and Jennifer Jason Leigh. If only someone had told all parties involved that gloominess does not equate artfulness. 

IN THIS WORLD (dir: Michael Winterbottom, R) - One of 2003's best, Michael Winterbottom's astounding film follows two Afghan boys as they travel through Pakistan, Iran, Turkey, France and Italy with the ultimate hope of finding refuge in London. Unforgettable.

INDEPENDENT, THE (dir: Stephen Kessler, R) - Shot in the now ubiquitous "mockumentary" style, this hilarious send up of Hollywood ranks with the finest of that newborn genre. Jerry Stiller stars as a Roger Corman-esque director of grade Z films trying to salvage his career and have one last shot at glory. Ben Stiller, Janeane Garofalo, Ron Howard and Karen Black appear in cameos. 

INDEPENDENT'S DAY (dir: Marina Zenovich, Not Rated) - The Sundance Film Festival has become America 's leading film festival by showcasing the best in independent cinema. This documentary follows the crazy bidding wars that have launched the careers of Robert Rodriguez, Tom DiCillo, Neil LaBute and many others from an insiders perspective. 

INTIMACY (dir: Patrice Chereau, NR) - Two lonely Londoners embark on a torrid affair that has brutal repercussions in this shockingly explicit international hit. French auteur Chereau makes his English language debut with this searing drama. 

INTOLERABLE CRUELTY (dir: Joel Coen, PG-13) - The Coen Brothers return with perhaps their flimsiest trifle of a movie yet. George Clooney and Catherine Zeta-Jones star in this madcap battle of the sexes that aims to be Tracy and Hepburn, but falls a little short. Since this is a Coen Brothers movie, it's still ten times better than the average film. But since it's a Coen Brothers movie, you expect it to be a hundred times better.

JANICE BEARD 45 WPM (dir: Clare Kilner, NR) - Janice Beard is an optimistic misfit. She leaves her agoraphobic mother behind and takes a job in a typing pool, regardless of the fact that she can't type. At the office she has to deal with underhanded co-workers and a demanding boss. This unique heroine has been described as "A British Amelie".

JAPANESE STORY (dir: Sue Brooks, R) - Quirky Australian Toni Collette stars as a geologist ferrying a Japanese businessman around the Outback. Will what starts as an inconvenience become a cultural exchange of... love? 

JASPER, TEXAS (dir: Jeff Byrd, R) - Based on the true story of a racially motivated killing that tore apart a small Texas town in the 90's, this made-for-cable retelling stars Jon Voight and Lou Gossett Jr. as the sheriff and mayor trying to hold things together.

JET LAG (dir: Daniele Thompson, R) - Juliette Binoche and Jean Reno are opposites whom, one presumes, will attract when they are both grounded in Paris during an airline strike. They're forced to share the last hotel room in town and the only thing they have in common is their propensity for bad relationships. I smell romance!

JOHNNY ENGLISH (dir: Peter Howitt, PG) - Rowan Atkinson sends up the spy genre in this goofy secret agent romp. Fans of BLACK ADDER or MR. BEAN may be non-plussed by the more obvious comedy being performed here, but will probably end up laughing anyhow. 

JOURNEYS WITH GEORGE (dir: Alexandra Pelosi, NR) - While covering the 2000 election for NBC, Alexandra Pelosi captured an intimate portrait of the man who would become America 's 43rd president in her home movies. More an observation of how an election is run than a political expose, those looking for pro-Bush propaganda or a smear campaign against him will be disappointed. Comparable to THE WAR ROOM from the Clinton era.

JUST AN AMERICAN BOY (dir: Amos Poe, Not Rated) - This documentary follows controversial Americana singer Steve Earle on his 2003 tour following the release of his album Jerusalem . His take on post-9/11 America is confrontational, unpopular and thoughtful.

KEDMA (dir: Amos Gitai, Not Rated) - Israel 's premier filmmaker Amos Gitai returns with this powerful drama about European Jewish refugees returning to the homeland in 1948. Instead of milk and honey they find a region torn apart by war. KEDMA caused a sensation when it was screened at Cannes in 2002 and was the recipient of numerous international film awards.

KIDS RETURN (dir: Takeshi Kitano, NR) - Takeshi "Beat" Kitano writes and directs this story of two childhood friends who meet up after many years and are surprised at the different paths their lives have taken. 

KILL BILL : VOLUME 1 (dir: Quentin Tarantino, R) - We want Quentin to make a movie about fluffy bunnies frolicking in poppy fields. Instead he delivers Uma Thurman in tight yellow leather, frolicking amidst well-choreographed kung-fu bloodspurts. Largely abandoning his usual stylized, hipper-than-thou dialogue, he seems more interested in focusing on his other cinematic hallmark: the detachment of body parts. We can only hope that KILL BILL : VOLUME 2 will be more family-friendly.

KILOMETER ZERO (dir: Juan Luis Iborra / Yolanda Garcia Serrano, R) - This slice of life follows the intersecting love lives of fourteen very different people in Madrid . Over the course of one steamy night connections are made and broken, but no one ends up alone. 

KING OF THE ANTS (dir: Stuart Gordon, R) - With RE-ANIMATOR, Stuart Gordon became one of the leading voices of independent horror. He has, unfortunately, been unable to make the transition into mainstream  cinema like peers such as Sam Raimi. Now he's relegated to directing straight to video junk like this.

KITCHEN PARTY (dir: Gary Burns, Not Rated) - FELICITY baddie Scott Speedman stars as a kid celebrating going off to college by throwing a party, only his family's house is so clean he restricts everyone to the kitchen. Both hilarious and real, this Canadian import is reminiscent of a contemporary DAZED AND CONFUSED, and that's no hyperbole.

LA CAPTIVE (dir: Chantal Akerman, NR) - The only good thing to ever emerge from Belgium , Chantal Akerman, has been a leading voice in European cinema for thirty years. In this twisted saga of masochistic obsession, she pays homage to VERTIGO and, in doing so, creates her most important film in years. 

LARCENY (dir: Irving Schwartz, R) - When a young Midwestern man comes to Los Angeles to visit his cousin, he's mistaken for a famous artist and quickly gets caught up in a series of comic adventures. Featuring cameos by Andy Dick, Kate Jackson and Tyra Banks.

LAST EXILE 2: POSITIONAL PLAY (dir: Kouichi Chigira, PG-13) - We got LAST EXILE 1 because the cover was really cool. Turned out this Japanese anime about futuristic fighter pilots in 1940's-style aircraft was one of the most hypnotic and beautifully designed series to show up in America . So we got the second one.

LAST EXILE 4: BREAKTHROUGH (dir: Kouichi Chigira, Not Rated) - If you have been following this acclaimed Japanese anime series, you will undoubtedly be excited for this newest installment. If you haven't, you won't.

LAST SAMURAI, THE (dir: Edward Zwick, R) - The most exciting thing about this war epic about a Civil War hero who goes to fight in the Japanese feudal wars is trying to spot the exact moment when Tom Cruise came within half an inch of being decapitated by veteran actor Hiroyuki Sanada during filming. Otherwise it's a pretty predictable tale of sacrifice and honor, with great battle sequences and a soppy love story.

LE DIVORCE (dir: James Ivory, PG-13) - Merchant/Ivory alert! The grand masters of movies for women with Volvos return with this soufflé of a comedy starring Kate Hudson and Naomi Watts as step-sisters wrecking havoc on the hearts of Parisian men.

LEAVING METROPOLIS (dir: Brad Fraser, Not Rated) - A hit on the G & L Film Festival circuit, this movie about a successful artist who takes a job as a waiter in order to find inspiration joins the ranks of JEFFREY and LOVE, VALOUR & COMPASSION as a gay-themed play adaptation that never manages to overcome its staginess.

LEGEND OF JOHNNY LINGO, THE (dir: Steven Ramirez, G) - When Tama, an orphan boy, is deemed cursed by his tribe, he decides to build a boat and sail across the South Pacific in search of a place he belongs. He is taken under the wing of Johnny Lingo, a wealthy trader who makes Tama his apprentice. This family film from New Zealand has delighted audiences around the world, young and old alike. 

LEO (dir: Mehdi Norowzian, R) - Joseph Fiennes plays a SLING BLADE-esque ex-con working on the farm of a grumpy widow played by Elisabeth Shue. Loosely based on parts of Ulysses, but going for the look of a Faulknerian south, LEO is a confused little film with several good performances but a slightness that ultimately dooms it. 

LEPRECHAUN: BACK 2 THA HOOD (dir: Steven Ayromlooi, R) - Anytime my favorite "little" actor Warwick Davis shares the screen with my favorite rapper/actor Sticky Fingaz, I'm obligated to watch. The fact that this is the 6th film in the LEPRECHAUN franchise is the icing on my cake.

LES LIAISONS DANGEREUSES (dir: Josee Dayan, NR) - If you found any of the 900 previous incarnations of this story too short, you'll be pleased with this new four hour (!!!) version starring Catherine Deneuve and Rupert Everett.

LIFE , HAPPINESS AND PROSPERITY (dir: Mina Shum, NR) - The latest indie treasure from The Film Movement series is a heart-warming character study of a Chinese-Canadian divorcee who turns to ancient Chinese magic to help straighten out her life. From the director and star of the 1994 sleeper-hit DOUBLE HAPPINESS.

LIFE AFTER ALL (dir: Olivier Peray, Not Rated) - When their parents die in an auto accident, two brothers are forced to find their own way in the world. 18-year-old Vincent wins guardianship of younger Lucien but finds his newfound responsibilities more difficult than anticipated. A simple story handled with classic French subtlety.

LIFE OF MAMMALS, THE: VOLUME 2 (dir: David Attenborough, NR) - More fun from our furry, milk-filled cousins. 

LIFE OF MAMMALS, THE: VOLUME 3 (dir: David Attenborough, Not Rated) - David Attenborough is the coolest dude on Earth. Anyone who gets paid big bucks by the BBC to fly all over the world and hang out with monkeys deserves a little respect, in my opinion.

LIFE OF MAMMALS, THE: VOLUME 4 (dir: David Attenborough, NR) - Look at those primates! They're just like us! Boy, that David Attenborough sure knows what he's talking about!

LION KING 1 1/2, THE (dir: Bradley Raymond, G) - Disney continues to exploit and cheapen everyone's childhood memories by making straight-to-video sequels to classics, rather than going to the trouble of coming up with any original ideas. Sleazy.

LIVE FOREVER (dir: John Dower, R) - Here's my absolute favorite documentary of 2003, the comical tale of the chart war between the British bands Oasis and Blur. In the glory days of the mid-90's, cool independent music stole the limelight from the manufactured pop trolls for a few years at the same time that Tony Blair was reinvigorating a country reeling after too many years of Thatcherism. A sense of optimism prevailed, but was quickly dampened by the realization that being British makes absolutely no sense if you aren't miserable. As the 90's creaked to a close and whatever you call the decade we live in now (the Noughts?) ushered in such horrors as those demons from American Idol and Blair assumed the role of Bush's lapdog, a comfortable cynicism returned among the young hipsters. But for a moment, all of England was dreaming. 

LOONEY TUNES: BACK IN ACTION (dir: Joe Dante, PG) - Brendan Fraser and Jenna Elfman star in this live-action/animation hybrid that features all the classic Looney Toons characters, as well as Steve Martin as the evil Mr. Chairman.

LOST IN TRANSLATION (dir: Sofia Coppola, R) - Proving once and for all that Bill Murray is God.

LOST SKELETON OF CADAVRA, THE (dir: Larry Blamire, PG) – This send-up of classic grade z sci-fi films of the 1950’s deliciously skirts the line between homage and recreation. A dedicated scientist must save the world from a radioactive monster as well as a grumpy skeleton. Presented in Skeletorama.

LOVE ACTUALLY (dir: Richard Curtis, R) - This British romantic comedy has been described as "delightful", "fun" and "charming". Normally I consider those abhorrent traits in a film. Against my better judgment I found myself being won over by this ensemble love-fest starring Hugh Grant, Emma Thompson, Liam Neeson and Colin Firth. Actually, I loved it. 

LOVE DON 'T COST A THING (dir: Troy Beyer, PG-13) - That may be true. However, improper grammar could end up costing you dearly. 

LOVING FATHER, A (dir: Jacob Berger, Not Rated) - Gerard and Guillaume Depardieu star as a warring father and son fighting their way across Europe in this intense drama. Although bitterly funny at times, for their sake I hope they were just acting. 

LUCIA LUCIA (dir: Antonio Serrano, R) - The latest offering from the New Wave of Mexican cinema follows Lucia on a journey to find her missing husband that might just result in her finding... herself. 

LUCKY (dir: Steve Cuden, R) - This is guaranteed to be the best horror film about a talking dog who commands his owner to kill that you see all year. 

LUCKY SEVEN (dir: Harry Winer, PG-13) - This romantic comedy starring local boy Patrick Dempsey and FATHER OF THE BRIDE's Kimberly Williams gets mileage out of the theory that boyfriend number seven will be "the one".

MACARTHUR PARK (dir: Billy Wirth, Not Rated) - The lives of several down and out people intersect in a park in downtown Los Angeles . Directed by former teen model and actor Billy Wirth, this labor of love won a positive reaction at Sundance.

MADAME SATA (dir: Karim Ainouz, NR) - This powerful true story set on the mean streets of 1930's Brazil has been hailed by critics around the globe as explosive and erotic. As the title character, Lazora Ramas' portrayal has been revered as "a fiery star-making performance". 

MAGDALENE SISTERS, THE (dir: Peter Mullan, R) - Anytime a film has been condemned by The Vatican, you know it must be worth checking out. Such is the case with THE MAGDALENE SISTERS, the true story of three "wayward" girls forced into brutal servitude by a posse of nasty nuns in Ireland in the 1970's. Harrowing.

MALDONADO MIRACLE (dir: Salma Hayek, PG) - We gotta give her points for trying. Salma Hayek, fresh from pouring her heart and soul into bringing the life of Frida Kahlo to the screen, directs this family-friendly tale of a young boy who teaches a whole town to love again. And you thought she was just another Latina bombshell.

MAMBO ITALIANO (dir: Émile Gaudreault, R) - Imagine what would happen if they took MY BIG FAT GREEK WEDDING and replaced the funny Greek culture with funny Italian culture. But then again, using one's imagination is something the people responsible for this movie obviously don't believe in.

MAN OF THE YEAR, THE (dir: Jose Henrique Fonseca, Not Rated) – Those left salivating for more after seeing CITY OF GOD should check out the latest offering in The Film Movement series. Set on the mean streets of Rio, this crime saga follows Maiquel over a 24 hour period as he learns a lot about life and, maybe, a little about love.

MANIC (dir: Jordan Melamed, R) - Don Cheadle is a doctor trying to get through to the troubled kids at the mental hospital in which he works. Joseph Gordon-Levitt and Zooey Deschanel play teens teetering on the edge of sanity. Gritty and piercing, these troubled teens will reverberate in your memory long after the movie has ended. 

MARCI X (dir: Richard Benjamin, R) - File this under "most ill-advised idea for a movie, ever". Lisa Kudrow is a snooty socialite who takes over her fathers record company and has to deal with a contentious rapper played by Damon Wayans. Talk about culture-clash! I mean, she's white. He's black. That's craaaazy.

MASKED & ANONYMOUS (dir: Larry Charles, PG-13) - A bevy of cool stars including Jeff Bridges, Jessica Lange, John Goodman and Luke Wilson join Bob Dylan in this head-scratcher of a comedy. Dylan plays a downtrodden singer sprung from jail to perform at a sketchy benefit concert in a revolution ravaged Latin American country. Full of cryptic dialogue and improvised performances, this might be best left to Dylan fanatics. 

MASTER AND COMMANDER: THE FAR SIDE OF THE WORLD (dir: Peter Weir, PG-13) - Fans of the HORATIO HORNBLOWER series are in for a treat this week as Peter Weir's grand adaptation of Patrick O'Brian's nautical series hits the shelves. Starring Russell Crowe as Captain Jack Aubrey, MASTER & COMMANDER is glorious old-fashioned entertainment that fills every inch of the screen. 

MATCHSTICK MEN (dir: Ridley Scott, PG-13) - Ridley Scott is a director of the finest sort. His films never take a backseat to his ego and he's versatile enough to have created classics in many genres. From ALIEN and BLADE RUNNER to GLADIATOR and BLACK HAWK DOWN he has proven himself to be more akin to the directors of old Hollywood than the upstarts of the indie scene like Quentin Tarantino and Wes Anderson. He may never be thought of as an auteur, but his filmography speaks for itself. So it is with relish that we can confirm MATCHSTICK MEN as another minor classic. Nicolas Cage and Sam Rockwell star as small time con artists trying to hit the big time.

MATRIX REVOLUTIONS (dir: The Wachowski Brothers, R) - Even those of you with an affinity for video games and techno-spiritual mumbo jumbo will agree that this is three times more MATRIX than anybody needed.

MAU MAU SEX SEX (dir: Ted Bonnitt, Not Rated) - Here's the true story of " America 's oldest living independent filmmakers." Dan Sonney and Davied Friedman have been producing exploitation classics for over 60 years and are responsible for classics such as BLOOD FEAST and THE DEFILERS.

MEMORIES (dir: Katsuhiro Otomo, PG-13) - Three of Japan's anime masters contribute short films to this collection whose unifying theme is war. Made by the people responsible for AKIRA and GHOST IN THE SHELL, this is the anime equivalent of Steven Spielberg, Billy Wilder and John Ford collaborating on a film. 

MERCHANT OF VENICE, THE (dir: Trevor Nunn, NR) - Trevor Nunn's TWELFTH NIGHT is, for purists, cinema's best Shakespeare, without all the bluster and spoon-feeding of most adaptations. Until that arrives on DVD , we have Nunn's recent TV version of THE MERCHANT OF VENICE, which garnered rave reviews for its brilliant cast of Royal National Theatre actors and its 1930s setting. 

MI-5: VOLUME 1 (dir: David Wolstencroft, NR) - From the BBC comes the coolest spy drama on TV. Follow as an elite team tackles organized crime and terrorists, as well as the power struggles in their own office. Supercool. 

MIDDLE OF THE WORLD, THE (dir: Vincente Amorim, Not Rated) - Here's the latest film from the Film Movement series, and it's another winner. A father in northern Brazil decides to move his family south to Rio ... on bicycles! As they travel 2000 miles, their dream of a better life draws them together as a family. 

MIRACLE (dir: Gavin O' Connor, PG) - I'm pretty sure Kurt Russell got a perm for this movie. And that's awesome.

MISSING GUN, THE (dir: Chuan Lu, PG-13) - Kurosawa's STRAY DOG is updated in this Chinese action-thriller about a policeman whose gun is stolen and then used to murder his ex-girlfriend. 

MISSING, THE (dir: Ron Howard, R) - Paying homage to the great American Western is Ron Howard's THE MISSING. Cate Blanchett and Tommy Lee Jones star as estranged father and daughter drawn together to hunt for Blanchett's kidnapped daughter. This could have been a rousing adventure, but falters under Howard's unsure direction. He desperately wants to pay homage to the films of the past that he ends up with a pile of recycled ideas rather a fresh take on a dormant genre. 

MONA LISA SMILE (dir: Mike Newell, PG-13) - Leave it to our most outspoken proponent of feminist thought, Julia Roberts, to offer up the crazy notion of women being equal to men. She plays a college professor at Wellesley in the 50's who teaches the young ladies there that they are people too. Pretty radical stuff. 

MONK: SEASON 1 (dir: Andy Breckman , Not Rated) – Tony Shalhoub plays the most loveable obsessive-compulsive private detective on TV.

MONSTURD (dir: Dan West / Rick Popko, R) - When a serial killer is killed in a sewer system and an accident occurs at a nearby genetic research laboratory, the result is the resurrection of the killer... combined with sewage waste to create the titular villain. I kid you not. 

MOONCHILD (dir: Takahisa Zeze, Not Rated) - Mixing gothic vampire horror and John Woo style action, MOONCHILD stars Japanese pop stars Gackt and Hyde and is directed by former porn filmmaker Takahisa Zeze. Hyper-violent and super stylized, this is an example of Japanese cinema as out of control as it gets. 

MORLANG (dir: Tjebbo Penning, NR) - A man coming to terms with his wife's infidelity begins an affair of his own. This chilling revenge drama is loosely based on a real incident in Holland in which a man tricked his wife into committing suicide.

MXP: MOST XTREME PRIMATE (dir: Robert Vince, G) - You loved him when he played hockey. You cheered when he hopped on a skateboard. Now he hits the slopes in MXP. He's Jack the chimpanzee. I will continue to watch and enjoy this sports-loving monkey as long as they make these films. I just hope they don't have him venture into skydiving. A monkey jumping out of a plane, that's too much!

MY BOSS'S DAUGHTER (dir: David Zucker, R) - Proving once and for all that Ashton Kutcher should stick to being jailbait for middle-aged actresses and stop making movies.

MY LIFE WITHOUT ME (dir: Isabel Coixet, R) - Sarah Polley stars as a young wife and mother facing a terminal illness, leaving her with a month to live. She keeps her condition a secret and tries to live her last days to the fullest. This life-affirming film was a big hit on the film festival scene and is destined to find cult status. It's like TERMS OF ENDEARMENT with an Indie sensibility.

MYSTIC RIVER (dir: Clint Eastwood, R) - Maybe last year's most powerful drama, MYSTIC RIVER wins you over with the brute force of its emotional wallop. Top drawer acting from Sean Penn, Tim Robbins, Kevin Bacon and Marcia Gay Harden (and some nifty Boston accents) doesn't hurt, propelling this out of made-for-TV territory to nearly Shakespearean heights. 

NEST, THE (dir: Florent-Emilio Siri, R) – France ’s coolest action movie ever. THE NEST is soon to be remade by Hollywood so check it out in its original incarnation.

NINE DEAD GAY GUYS (dir: Lab Ky Mo, R) - Two Irish lads move to London to hit it big, but end up hustling for beer money at a local gay pub. This sets them off on a madcap caper through the London underworld familiar to anyone who saw SNATCH or LOCK , STOCK & TWO SMOKING BARRELS. 

NINE LIVES (dir: Andrew Green, R) - Personally, I take it as a sign of the impending apocalypse that Paris Hilton is now starring in straight to video horror films.

NIP/TUCK: SEASON 1 (dir: Ryan Murphy, Not Rated) – Because all of us can identify with the seedy plastic surgeons, insecure drug lords, coy models, and coked-up crazy sex that is Miami Beach, we need a hot TV show that captures this reality with a detached irony and graphic medical procedures. Here’s one.

NO TURNING BACK (dir: Jesus Nebot, R) - Directed, written by and starring Jesus Nebot, NO TURNING BACK is a movie with a social conscience that doesn't make entertainment take a back seat. Nebot plays Pablo, an illegal Honduran immigrant in America who must run from the authorities after a tragic accident in order to protect his daughter. Tense and emotionally charged, this film won Best Picture at sixteen film festivals worldwide. 

OFFICE, THE: SECOND SERIES (dir: Ricky Gervais / Stephen Merchant, Not Rated) - The world's worst boss returns in what Entertainment Weekly calls "the best television series of 2003". Ricky Gervais won two Golden Globes this year for his performance and for his role as co-creator. Along with FREAKS & GEEKS and CURB YOUR ENTHUSIASM, this is one of B & G's favorite television programs. 

ON EDGE (dir: Karl Slovin, R) - When Rob Reiner and Christopher Guest dreamed up THIS IS SPINAL TAP, they probably didn't realize they were inventing a genre that would come to be known as the "mockumentary". Therefore, we can't hold them responsible for the glut of these films that are now starting to flood the market. The latest attempt to cash in is this ice-skating themed dud starring Jason Alexander. Yuck.

ON GUARD (dir: Phillipe De Broca, Not Rated) - French acting God Daniel Auteuil stars in this epic swashbuckling tale as a man seeking revenge upon the man who killed his comrade.

ON_ LINE (dir: Jed Weintrob, NR) - A computer whiz on the rebound from a disastrous break-up starts an adult Internet site with his roommate. They soon find it taking over their lives with comicly disastrous results.

ONCE UPON A TIME IN MEXICO (dir: Robert Rodriguez, R) - Antonio Banderas returns as the Desperado in this final installment in Robert Rodriguez gunslinger trilogy. Johnny Depp turns in one of his patented wacky performances as a corrupt CIA agent. 

ONCE UPON A TIME IN THE MIDLANDS (dir: Shane Meadows, R) - Shane Meadows' films have not been widely seen, or even released, in America , and that's unfortunate. If you haven't seen TWENTY FOUR SEVEN or A ROOM FOR ROMEO BRASS, that's too bad. Neither of them are available on DVD . Perhaps that injustice will be rectified now that his particular brand of working class humor is set to win over the masses with ONCE UPON A TIME IN THE MIDLANDS. Robert Carlyle stars as a downtrodden man trying to woo back the love of his life.

ONLY THE STRONG SURVIVE (dir: D. A. Pennebaker / Chris Hegedus, PG-13) - Famed documentarian D.A. Pennebaker, the man responsible for DON 'T LOOK BACK, MONTEREY POP and DOWN FROM THE MOUNTAIN, turns his well-trained musical ear to the history of the Stax record company. Comparable to STANDING IN THE SHADOWS OF MOTOWN, we get to catch up with some of the most important soul stars of the 60's and 70's such as Wilson Pickett, Mary Wilson of The Supremes and Isaac Hayes.

OPEN RANGE (dir: Kevin Costner, R) - Kevin Costner in movie-does-not-suck shocker! He and Robert Duvall compete to see whose face is the leatheriest in this neo-western that pays homage to one of films lost genres. 

ORDINARY SINNER (dir: John Henry Davis, NR) - This low-budget thriller set in rural Vermont involves three college friends who are romantically, spiritually, and possibly homicidally linked.

OSAMA (dir: Siddiq Barmak, PG-13) - The first film made in Afghanistan after the fall of the Taliban, OSAMA is the story of a young girl forced to disguise herself as a boy to escape the oppression of the regime. This is a stirring and frightening story based on eerily recent events. Winner of the Best Foreign Language Film at this year's Golden Globes. 

OTHER SIDE OF THE BED , THE (dir: Emilio Martinez-Lazaro, R) - Here's our 4th Spanish film of the week. It's a cheerful and sexy comic romp that tells the story of two couples swapping partners, searching for the perfect match.

OUR AMERICA (dir: Ernest Dickerson, R) - Based on a true story, OUR AMERICA follows the tale of two Chicago teens who receive critical acclaim for documenting the violence in their poor neighborhood, thus challenging the media and the Man.

OUT OF ORDER (dir: Wayne Powers, R) - This is the pilot episode of a Showtime miniseries that was well-received last year. Indie favorites Eric Stoltz, Kim Dickens and William H. Macy star as people in and around the Hollywood community struggling with relationships and careers. 

OUT OF TIME (dir: Carl Franklin, PG-13) - Denzel Washington reteams with the director of one of his greatest triumphs, DEVIL IN A BLUE DRESS, for this seamy thriller set in the Florida Keys. Co-starring saucy starlets Sanaa Lathan and Eva Mendes. 

OZ: THE COMPLETE THIRD SEASON (dir: Tom Fontana, NR) - Is that a chiv made out of a toothbrush you just stabbed in my back? Here's my one concern about HBO's notorious prison drama OZ: don't they run out of prisoners? In each episode approximately 45 inmates are stabbed to death in the showers or iced while waiting in the lunch line. I think if you've been convicted of something bad enough to get stuck in Oswald Maximum Security Prison, that's probably punishment enough. You should at least be able to enjoy a sloppy-joe without having to arm yourself.

PARASITE (dir: Andrew Prendergast, R) - On an oil rig in the North Sea , a scientist is carrying out experiments with chemicals that could revolutionize the oil industry... or create a human-eating monster. Having seen my fair share of horror films, I'd say there is a statistical likeliness that the experiments go awry. 

PARTY MONSTER (dir: Fenton Bailey / Randy Barbato, R) - Have you been wondering when Macauley Culkin would make another movie? Have you been wondering if that movie would see him starring as real life club-kid/drag-queen/vicious murderer Michael Alig? Well, regardless, it happened. If you would prefer to not think of Kevin from HOME ALONE snorting heroin and dismembering a drug dealer named Angel you should probably skip this. 

PASSIONADA (dir: Dan Ireland, PG-13) - Set within the Portuguese community of New Bedford, Massachusetts, this romantic fable about matchmaking madness is less "My Big Fat Portuguese Wedding" and more "Portuguese Peyton Place."

PAYCHECK (dir: John Woo, PG-13) - Why do we continue to fight wars overseas when the real threat is at home? Seriously, Ben Affleck must be stopped.

PENN & TELLER: BULLSHIT! (dir: Penn Jillette / Teller, NR) - Penn and Teller use this Showtime show as a vehicle to expose the truth behind every sort of charlatan you can imagine. TV psychics, alien abductions, the conspiracy behind bottled water and, of course, magicians are no match for these crusaders.

PENTAGON PAPERS, THE (dir: Rod Holcomb, R) - Let's face it. James Spader might be the sleaziest actor in the history of film. From SECRETARY to CRASH to PRETTY IN PINK to LESS THAN ZERO, he has had no problem playing characters nesting in the warm, seamy underbelly of society. That's why when I read that he plays a morally conflicted Pentagon employee who has to decide whether to turn whistleblower and risk his career, I just knew that he would end up doing the wrong thing. 

PERFECT SCORE, THE (dir: Brian Robbins, PG-13) - Did you ever wonder  what happened to the kid from HEAD OF THE CLASS who thought he was The Fonz? Well, he's been directing movies. Movies like GOOD BURGER, VARSITY BLUES, HARDBALL and now this teens-cheat-on-the-SATs caper.

PETER PAN (dir: P.J. Hogan, PG) - Unlike HOOK , which revolved around its mediocre all-star cast, this re-telling of the classic story actually sticks to the book, maintaining the sexual tension between Wendy, Peter, and Captain Hook/Mr. Darling. Which sounds sketchy, but from a literary standpoint is actually a lot more interesting than most Hollywood movies.

PIECES OF APRIL (dir: Peter Hedges, PG-13) - Clocking in at a breezy 75 minutes, PIECES OF APRIL is a wispy trifle of a movie about the bonds of family. Katie Holmes plays April, a free-spirited girl whose disapproving suburban family is coming to her New York apartment for Thanksgiving. Determined to impress them, she struggles to create the perfect holiday feast. Although we know from the start that this is all headed for a heartwarming finale in which the strength of family overcomes all differences, the effect is still genuine. 

PLAIN DIRTY (dir: Zev Berman, R) - Winner of several film festival awards from around the world, this Southern Gothic thriller stars perpetual jailbait Dominique Swain as a petty criminal's wife who pays the price for having an affair with a gentle young lawyer.

POKEMON HEROES (dir: Jim Malone / Kunihiko Yuyama, G) - Kids who haven't moved on to YUGI-OH will totally dig these passé Japanese monsters. What separates regular Pokemon from Pokemon heroes? Who knows. 

POST CONCUSSION (dir: Daniel Yoon, PG-13) - Getting hit by a car turns out to be the best thing to ever happen to a young San Francisco man. He loses his job and gets dumped by his girlfriend, but ends up on a hilarious journey of self-discovery. 

POSTMARK PARADISE (dir: Thompson E. Clay, PG-13) - Why does getting a Russian mail order bride always cause so many complications? A group of small town friends order one for a buddy as a joke and when she  actually arrives things go awry very quickly. This quirky gem has been an audience favorite at film festivals across the country.

POSTMEN IN THE MOUNTAINS (dir: Jianqi Huo, NR) - This touching story of a father passing his rural postal route in China on to his son won numerous international film awards. As the two travel together, they both gain a new respect and understanding for one another. 

PREY FOR ROCK & ROLL (dir: Alex Steyermark, R) - Gina Gershon stars as a wild rocker trying to catch a break for her band on the Sunset Strip. Gershon and the other actresses learned to play their instruments and perform in order to make the film more authentic and it pays off. One of the best music related films in recent memory.

PUNK'D: SEASON 1 (dir: Ashton Kutcher, NR) - Before Ashton Kutcher was wining and dining middle aged ladies, he had a show on MTV where he played pranks on his celebrity friends. Although this is pretty silly and really just an update of CANDID CAMERA, there is no denying the fun of watching Justin Timberlake nearly break down in tears when he thinks his SUV is being repossessed.

QUEER AS FOLK: SEASON 3 (dir: Ron Cowen / Daniel Lipman, NR) - This adaptation of the British sensation started off shakily, but is apparently finding its stride. The thing that is impressed upon me about all these shows, from THE SOPRANOS and SIX FEET UNDER to OZ and QUEER AS FOLK is that they're all just soap operas. They are well-heeled, upscale and artfully made, but not stratospherically different than DAYS OF OUR LIVES. The main difference seems to be the level of nudity and profanity. Am I wrong? 

QUICKSAND (dir: John MacKenzie, R) - After his recent acclaimed work in THE QUIET AMERICAN and THE STATEMENT, it was time for Michael Caine to do a strictly cash job. That's where his role here as a shady alcoholic former-actor in Monaco in comes in. Michael Keaton, apparently also needing money, co-stars. 

RADIO (dir: Michael Tollin, PG) - In the future, statues will be erected in Cuba Gooding's honor. It is on the strength of SNOW DOGS, BOAT TRIP and now as the mentally challenged, football-loving title character in RADIO that I make this proclamation. Show me the money? More like, show me the genius of modern film acting!

RAGE IN PLACID LAKE , THE (dir: Tony McNamara, Not Rated) - Australian Indie rocker Ben Lee stars in the latest offering from the Film Movement. He plays Placid Lake , a young genius who has spent too much time not fitting in. To the chagrin of his wacky best friend and his pressuring parents, he takes a normal job and soon finds himself on the fast track to corporate success. Will normalcy prove fruitful or will his eccentricities overtake his ability to cope with cubicle office culture? 

RAJA (dir: Jacques Doillon, Not Rated) - What starts out as the story of a middle-aged Frenchman's attempt to seduce a beautiful orphan girl in Marrakech, turns into a cynical tale of manipulation and revenge. This sort of anti-ROMEO AND JULIET is probably not a great first date movie.

REAGANS, THE (dir: Robert Allan Ackerman, Not Rated) - I hear Ronnie enjoyed it but found it pretty forgettable. Ooh, ouch. Admittedly, that's a low blow but I'm not the one who illegally overthrew Central American governments and said that homeless people enjoy being homeless. 

RED WATER (dir: Charles Robert Carner, R) - If you think JAWS is the last word in shark terror, you've obviously never seen Coolio battle one in the Louisiana bayou. Also featuring the immeasurable talents of Kristy Swanson and Lou Diamond Phillips.

RETURNER (dir: Takashi Yamazaki, R) - Aliens, time-travel and every other sci-fi cliché in the book are thrown into the pot for this Japanese neo-noir. Luckily, originality is not always an issue for science fiction. As long as a film features old ideas in new ways, as is the case here, it doesn't matter.

RIPLEY'S GAME (dir: Liliana Cavani, R) - Taking on the role of Tom Ripley, John Malkovich tries to fill the shoes of Matt Damon and Dennis Hopper who appeared in THE TALENTED MR. RIPLEY and THE AMERICAN FRIEND, respectively. Who could possibly be better at filling those morally ambiguous and generally creepy shoes than the star of DANGEROUS LIAISONS and SHADOW OF THE VAMPIRE? Liliana Cavani, director of the monumentally creepy THE NIGHT PORTER, seems the appropriate choice to helm this. 

ROMAN SPRING OF MRS . STONE, THE (dir: Robert Allan Ackerman, R) - Based on a novella by Tennessee Williams, Helen Mirren stars as an aging American actress who high-tails it to Italy after flopping on Broadway. She soon gets involved with a sultry gigolo played by Olivier Martinez and their casual fling quickly turns into obsession.

RUNAWAY JURY (dir: Gary Fleder, PG-13) - Gene Hackman and Dustin Hoffman, as young, struggling actors, were roommates in New York in the sixties. They have, however, never appeared on film together. When they finally do face-off toward the end of RUNAWAY JURY, it's a treat, but has the unfortunate effect of overshadowing the rest of the movie. That's too bad because as far as John Grisham-based legal thrillers go, this is the cream of the crop. Nice performances by John Cusack and Rachel Weisz compliment a genuinely twisty and exciting story, framed nicely by the New Orleans scenery.

RUNDOWN, THE (dir: Peter Berg, PG-13) - People got really worked up when Robert DeNiro and Al Pacino finally appeared onscreen together in HEAT. And again when Gene Hackman and Dustin Hoffman finally teamed up in RUNAWAY JURY. So why was it overlooked when The Rock and Seann William "Stifler" Scott at last lit up the silver screen together? Seriously, these are the men responsible for THE SCORPION KING and AMERICAN PIE. This is history unfolding before our eyes. Whatever.

SABU (dir: Takashi Miike, NR) - It's not a true week of new releases here at Bart & Greg's without a Takashi Miike film. Here's the latest offering from the workaholic Japanese madman and this time it's a  period piece! Set during the Tokugawa era, SABU is based upon the classic  rites of passage novel by Shugoro Yamamoto. This would serve as a wonderful introduction to one of the world's most exciting filmmakers for audiences who have been intimidated by his more violent offerings.

SAFE CONDUCT (dir: Bertrand Tavernier, Not Rated) - Here's the latest from Bertrand Tavernier, the French legend responsible for ROUND MIDNIGHT, COUP DE TORCHON and IT ALL STARTS TODAY. This look at how members of the French film industry kept alive the resistance while working alongside the Nazis benefits from Tavernier's reverence for history and exhaustive knowledge of filmmaking. 

SAMOURAIS (dir: Giordano Gederlini, R) - A police inspector investigating the murder of a video game designer uncovers the horrifying truth: A 500 year old samurai demon has been reborn and is ready to kill!

SAVAGE ISLAND (dir: Jeffery Lando, R) - If you were at Shockerfest 2003, then you already know that SAVAGE ISLAND won the award for Best Horror Feature. But you weren't. And you don't care. For gorehounds only.

SCARY MOVIE 3 (dir: David Zucker, PG-13) - David Zucker is the man responsible for AIRPLANE! and THE NAKED GUN so it's pretty depressing to see him sink as low as directing the latest sequel in the lame SCARY MOVIE series. This time they roast THE RING, SIGNS, THE MATRIX and, inexplicably, EIGHT MILE.

SCHOOL OF ROCK (dir: Richard Linklater, PG-13) - Jack Black plays a downtrodden rocker who masquerades as a teacher to earn some brass. When he discovers his class is full of gifted musicians, he transforms them into a rock group in order to win the battle of the bands. Sweet natured and amusing, SCHOOL OF ROCK falls short of hilarious but is constantly amusing.

SCORCHED (dir: Gavin Grazer, PG-13) - Alicia Silverstone, Rachel Leigh Cook, Woody Harrelson and John Cleese star in this wacky comedy about bank tellers plotting to rob the bank they work at. Apparently, Alicia Silverstone, Rachel Leigh Cook, Woody Harrelson and John Cleese lost a bet.

SEARCHING FOR DEBRA WINGER (dir: Rosanna Arquette, R) - Actress Rosanna Arquette gathers a group of her celebrity actress friends and discusses the issues surrounding womanhood in Hollywood . Featuring Meg Ryan, Julia Roberts, Jane Fonda and thousands of others.

SECONDHAND LIONS (dir: Tim McCanlies, PG) - Robert Duvall and Michael Caine are eccentric and grumpy brothers. Can Hayley Joel Osment warm their cockles and teach them to love again?

SECRET LIVES OF DENTISTS, THE (dir: Alan Rudolph, R) - One of 2003's lost treasures, Hope Davis and Campbell Scott star as married dentists coping with raising children, infidelities and other trials of the suburbs. Directed by Alan Rudolph. 

SECRET WINDOW (dir: David Koepp, PG-13) – Fans of Johnny Depp rejoice. Here he stars as a writer stalked by a dangerous stranger who claims Depp plagiarized his short story. Based on a story by Stephen King.

SEX & THE CITY : SEASON 6, PART 1 (dir: Darren Star, PG-13) - Sadly, this chapter in television history is coming to a close. A whole generation of women reared on this shallow fantasy must now search out new Manolo Blahnik wearing goddesses of excess to revere. Perhaps Mary-Kate and Ashley. On a positive note, in the finale I hear Carrie renounces the emptiness of her existence and moves to Vermont to work on an organic farm.

SEX WITH STRANGERS (dir: Harry Gantz / Joe Gantz, UR ) - Did you know there was such a thing as sex nerds? This documentary about couples involved with the swinging lifestyle comes off like TREKKIES with marital aids in place of light phasers. Repellant. 

SHATTERED GLASS (dir: Billy Ray, PG-13) - Hayden Christensen avoids the STAR WARS curse by starring as Stephen Glass, the writer for The New Republic disgraced in the 90's for fabricating his articles. Strong supporting turns by a fine array of indie vets such as Peter Sarsgaard, Steve Zahn and Chloe Sevigny make this drama of ethics one of the year's best.

SHIELD, THE: SEASON 2 (dir: Shawn Ryan, NR) - After its first season on the air, THE SHIELD shocked everyone by nabbing the Golden Globe for Best Dramatic Series as well as the best Actor trophy for Michael Chiklis. Now the little show that could is back and revving up the intensity for what critics call its "brilliant sophomore session". 

SHORT FUSE (dir: Various, Not Rated) - SHORT FUSE is a collection of short films that have played at festivals but have been unseen by most moviegoers. Starring talented people like Frances McDormand,  Mary-Louise Parker and Jeremy Sisto, these films prove that it's not the length  that matters as much as how you use it.

SHRINK IS IN, THE (dir: Richard Benjamin, R) - When Courtney Cox's therapist goes crazy, she makes the bizarre decision of taking over their practice. I think I'll file this with ED and THE PALLBEARER as movies the cast of FRIENDS never should have made.

SIMON THE MAGICIAN (dir: Ildiko Enyedi, NR) - Any story that features sorcery, the occult, and sexy French women has got to be worth its international acclaim. Some of you may recall Enyedi's previous work, the surreal and visually opulent MY TWENTIETH CENTURY. SIMON has the same wonderment to it, only in color.

SIMPLE LIFE , THE (dir: Jeff Fisher / Michael Rotman, NR) - When Paris Hilton and Nicole Ritchie set out to live on a farm in Arkansas for a month, little did they know the profound effect it would have on their future lives. Now our favorite socialites have given up the jet set and opened a small B & B in Vermont and tend to their herb garden while sipping aromatherapy tea. Just kidding. They're in and out of rehab for heroin abuse and having homemade sex videos pop up on the internet. And that's why they're America 's sweethearts!

SIMPSONS, THE: SEASON 4 (dir: Matt Groening, Not Rated) – Finally. Of course we love the first three seasons, but year four was where THE SIMPSONS really hit its stride. It’s pretty hard to imagine life without classic episodes Kamp Krusty, A Streetcar Named Marge or Selma ’s Choice but there was a time when they didn’t exist. I will now refer to all years preceding 1989 as B.S. (Before Simpsons).

SIN (dir: Michael Stevens, R) - Also milking the straight-to-video cash cow are Gary Oldman and Ving Rhames in this Reno-set thriller that follows a retired homicide detective back in action tracking down a sadistic killer.

SINGING DETECTIVE, THE (dir: Keith Gordon, R) - The world wasn't dying for a remake of Dennis Potter's legendary BBC miniseries, but with a cast including Robert Downey Jr., Mel Gibson, Katie Holmes and Adrien Brody, no one is complaining either. 

SKIN OF MAN , HEART OF BEAST (dir: Hélène Angel, NR) - From France comes the story of a man who returns to his family after a protracted absence, only he hasn't been in the foreign legion as he claims... he's been a werewolf! Told from the perspective of his two distrusting nieces, this is a haunting fable residing somewhere between fairytale and nightmare.

SOLDIER'S GIRL (dir: Frank Pierson, R) - Based on a true story, SOLDIER'S GIRL is about a young soldier who falls in love with a transgendered nightclub performer, and follows the violent repercussions that result. Made for Showtime, this film was nominated for several Golden Globes.

SOLO MIA (dir: Javier Balaguer, PG-13) - On the outside Angela and Joaquin seem like a typical young married couple but, behind closed doors, he lets his fists do the talking. Although she tries to stick things out, Angela finally decides to take matters into her own hands. Starring Paz Vega from SEX AND LUCIA.

SOMETHING'S GOTTA GIVE (dir: Nancy Meyers, PG-13) - Director Nancy Meyers used to be married to other director Charles Shyer. Together they directed a lot of inoffensive drivel like FATHER OF THE BRIDE and I LOVE TROUBLE. Then they got divorced. After college, my friend Luke went to work in Hollywood as Charles Shyer's personal assistant. Chuck subsequently sent my poor friend Luke to do ridiculously menial tasks like getting his Range Rover washed or to pick up his Viagra prescription. He also yelled a lot. Therefore, I have chosen to sing the praises of any film directed by his ex-wife Nancy Meyers. In summation, I recommend SOMETHING'S GOTTA GIVE starring Jack Nicholson and Diane Keaton wholeheartedly because Charles Shyer sucks. 

SON FRERE (dir: Patrice Chereau, Not Rated) - French auteur Patrice Chereau adds another winner to his eclectic oeuvre with this story of two brothers who learn about the ties that bind. Thomas is straight. Luc is gay. Thomas disapproves of his brothers lifestyle but turns to him for help when he faces a life threatening illness. Luc sacrifices his job, his lover, and his comfortable lifestyle to take care of him. Their brotherly bonds grow strong. 

SONGS FROM THE SECOND FLOOR (dir: Roy Andersson, NR) - This Swedish import has been described as a cross between SHORT CUTS and NIGHT OF THE LIVING DEAD. I doubt that anything could live up to that comparison, but it's certainly intriguing. A series of thinly related plot strains take the place of a conventional narrative in this unique and haunting meditation on life in the new millennium.

SOUTH PARK : SEASON 4 (dir: Trey Parker/Matt Stone, Not Rate) - First season featuring Timmy. 'Nuff said.

SOUTHLANDER (dir: Steven Hanft, NR) - This surreal comedy set in the underground music scene stars Rory Cochrane from DAZED AND CONFUSED and, in his acting debut, BECK. He plays Chance, a guy searching for his stolen synthesizer. Along the way he runs into a Crayola's box worth of colorful characters.

SPARTAN (dir: David Mamet, R) – David Mamet throws out more of his trademark snappy dialogue and crafty plot twists with this political thriller starring Val Kilmer.

SPELLBOUND (dir: Jeff Blitz, G) - This cool documentary takes an intimate look at the high stress world of spelling bees. We follow the eight finalists to Washington , D.C. where they compete for the nations top prize. When it is revealed to them that virtually everything they write for the rest of their lives will be written on computers with automatic spell check they all commit ritual seppuku. 

SPLIT DECISION (dir: Marcy Garriott, NR) - A young boxer finds his Olympic dreams thrown into turmoil when he is deported home to Mexico for a crime in his youth. This documentary captures the passion of a young man torn between two countries and identities. 

SPOILS OF WAR (dir: David Blaustein, NR) - A sobering inquiry into the fates of thousands of children who disappeared during the late seventies and early eighties in Argentina under a violent military government, this documentary explores the role of the grandmothers in finding the children now.

SPY KIDS 3-D: GAME OVER (dir: Robert Rodriguez, PG) - How stoked was I to watch a SPY KIDS movie in 3-D? Very. Unfortunately, the glasses gave me a headache and the usual fun of the series is missing, glossing over a distinct lack of plot with eye-popping special effects. Regardless, I'm still happy that somebody made a 3-D movie in 2003 and kids will totally love it. Until it gives them a migraine. 

STANDING ON FISHES (dir: Meredith Scott Lynn / Bradford Tatum, R) - A struggling artist in Los Angeles takes a job that compromises his artistic principles but will help him pay off his debts. This comedic ethical dilemma is exacerbated by his girlfriend's insistence that he is selling his soul. 

STARK RAVING MAD (dir: Drew Daywalt / David Schneider, R) - Seann William Scott, better known as Stifler from the AMERICAN PIE films, tries to make the transition to action hero and fails miserably. 

STATEMENT, THE (dir: Norman Jewison, R) - Acclaimed director Norman Jewison directs Michael Caine in the story of a Nazi collaborator being brought to trial for crimes half a century old. Tilda Swinton plays the judge attempting to sift through the cobwebs of history and serve up some justice.

STATION AGENT, THE (dir: Tom McCarthy, R) – Three people from very different backgrounds forge an unlikely but inspiring bond in a small New Jersey town. This indie favorite has been rapturously received by everyone (even Bart) for its warmth and intimate sense of humor. The ubiquitous Patricia Clarkson stars.

STEALING TIME (dir: Marc Fusco, R) - Four college friends reunite a year after graduation and find that all their various dreams are going nowhere. Logically, they decide to rob a bank.

STELLA SHORTS 1998-2002 (dir: Michael Ian Black / Michael Showalter / David Wain, NR) - The perverse geniuses behind WET HOT AMERICAN SUMMER brighten up our lives with this collection of short films previously only available on their website. Although the humor may not be for all tastes, this is underground comedy that has the power to make you laugh until you puke.

STEP INTO LIQUID (dir: Dana Brown, PG) - Bruce Brown, the director of THE ENDLESS SUMMER, apparently passed along his love of surfing to his son Dana. Dana Brown directs what many critics and fans consider to be the defining movie about surfing for the 21st century. 

STOKED: THE RISE AND FALL OF GATOR (dir: Helen Stickler , R) - This is DOGTOWN & Z BOYS' ugly cousin. Mark "Gator" Rogowski was one of the top pro skateboarders in the 80's. When the shift was made from "vert" or ramp skating to street skating, he couldn't make the adjustment and his fame and money waned. A loose cannon to begin with, he soon went over the edge and thought it would be a good idea to hit a girl on the head with a pipe and dispose of her body in the desert. This genuinely affecting story illustrates how the superficiality of fame can create an emotional void in people that cannot be filled. Not even by hitting girls in the head with a pipe.

STONE READER (dir: Mark Moskowitz, PG-13) - This fascinating documentary follows Mark Moskowitz as he attempts to unravel the mystery surrounding the book THE STONES OF SUMMER. He travels the country searching for the author who has retreated into Salingeresque self-imposed exile. Although humorous, this is ultimately poignant stuff. 

STUCK ON YOU (dir: Bobby Farrelly / Peter Farrelly, PG-13) - The Farrelly Brothers continue to churn out semi-wacky comedies that get increasingly less inspired. DUMB AND DUMBER, KINGPIN and THERE'S SOMETHING ABOUT MARY all had flashes of brilliance, but since then we've had ME, MYSELF & IRENE and SHALLOW HAL . This follows the adventures of Matt Damon and Greg Kinnear as conjoined twins pursuing their dream of an acting career.

SUSPENDED ANIMATION (dir: John Hancock, NR) - An animator has a close encounter with cannibals while on a snowmobiling vacation and becomes obsessed with turning his ordeal into a film. This sets off a wacky chain of events that culminates with him falling in love with the cannibal's daughter. 

SWIMMING POOL (dir: Francois Ozon, UR) - The coolest current French director, Francois Ozon, makes his English language debut with this comedy-thriller starring his two favorite muses, Charlotte Rampling and Ludivine Sagnier. Rampling plays a mystery writer who heads to the south of France and gets caught up in the romantic exploits of Sagnier and begins to use her as the inspiration for her latest book. Highly recommended. 

SYLVIA (dir: Christine Jeffs, R) - Why does everyone hate Gwyneth Paltrow so much? Is it because she's young, rich, beautiful, and comes from a privileged background? Probably. It shouldn't be for a lack of talent though. The Gwynnie backlash can rage out of control, but if she continues to do amazing work like her fierce portrayal of suicidal poetess Sylvia Plath, then she'll be around long after the poisoned arrows have been replaced by accolades.

TAKING SIDES (dir: Istvan Szabo, Not Rated) - Harvey Keitel and Stellan Skarsgard face off in the true story of German composer Wilhelm Furtwangler, who may or may not have contributed to the Nazi's propaganda machine. The film takes the rare position of not giving any easy answers and forcing the audience to assess guilt. 

TEACHER'S PET (dir: Timothy Björklund, PG) – A dog who can talk and read poses as a boy in order to go to school.

TEDDY BEARS' PICNIC (dir: Harry Shearer, R) - From the original team that brought us THIS IS SPINAL TAP comes this mockumentary about a weekend retreat of America's most powerful men that quickly descends into debauchery. Along for the fun are Michael McKean, Fred Willard and Harry Shearer.

TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE, THE (dir: Marcus Nispel, R) - The original TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE is still one of the most squirm-inducing movies I have ever sat through. It may be an exploitation film, but it's not out to provide you with cheap thrills; it's out to torment you. That's why I was somewhat dismayed to learn that it was being made into a multiplex friendly crowd-pleaser aimed at the insatiable teen horror audience. While the film is indeed scary and provides several tingles down the spine, it has simply been turned into a commodity. What was once part American cinema's folklore is now just another product.

THIRD WHEEL, THE (dir: Jordan Brady, PG-13) - Ben Affleck continues his cold streak with this indie flick he co-stars in and produced back in 1999, but is just now seeing the light of day. Luke Wilson and Denise Richards star as a young couple whose date is sabotaged at every turn by an unwelcome wacko. 

THIRTEEN (dir: Catherine Hardwicke, R) - It's official. Teenagers are out of control. They sneak out of the house, they smoke cigarettes and they get their navels pierced. This is the alarm being raised by THIRTEEN, as we follow two girls breaking all the rules and freaking out their parents. Cigarettes? Big deal. I was shooting skag while the other kids were playing tag. I woke up facedown in a field more times than I woke up in my bed. That's what your teen years are all about. Experimentation.

THIRTY YEARS TO LIFE (dir: Vanessa Middleton, R) - Though marketed to look like a short-lived UPN sitcom aimed at the African-American demographic, 30 YEARS TO LIFE is actually a smart independent comedy that observes the problems with trying stay twenty-something forever. 

TIMELINE (dir: Richard Donner, PG-13) - Featuring an unremarkable cast of action movie studs and a lame concept, this Michael Crichton adaptation poses the oft-asked question: If an archaeologist used a time machine to land himself in the middle of the Hundred Year's War, could his faithful students make it back in time to find him and bring him home in only eight hours? Only TIMELINE will tell.

TO END ALL WARS (dir: David L. Cunningham, R) – Robert Carlyle and Kiefer Sutherland star as POWs building the infamous “railway of death” between Thailand and Burma during World War II. Umm, I’m pretty sure we already covered this in THE BRIDGE ON THE RIVER KWAI.

TOGETHER (dir: Lukas Moodysson, R) - Finally making its way to DVD is my absolute favorite film of 2001. Set on a commune in Sweden in the mid-70's, TOGETHER is the story of a group of people whose relationships become strained as the outside world corrupts and complicates them. This is the rare film that is heartwarming without being cloying, hilarious while remaining intelligent, and has a social conscience without beating you over the head with it. Absolutely amazing.

TOKYO GODFATHERS (dir: Satoshi Kon, PG-13) - Everybody loves a touching Christmas movie, especially one about an alcoholic, a drag queen, and a runaway girl who find a baby on a trash pile. This is Japanese animation at its finest, and with minimal amounts of confusing supernatural weirdness, it may be just the place to start for those of you who are intrigued but frightened by that crazy anime stuff.

TORQUE (dir: Joseph Kahn, PG-13) - After the blockbuster success of last years BIKER BOYZ, there were bound to be a bunch of knock-off motorcycle racing flicks. Oh, wait. BIKER BOYZ was a huge flop and one of the worst films ever made. So why does TORQUE exist then?

TOUCHING THE VOID (dir: Kevin MacDonald, R) – Kevin MacDonald, director of the amazing terrorists-at-the-Olympics documentary ONE DAY IN SEPTEMBER, returns with this intense look at an ill-fated mountaineering expedition in the Peruvian Andes. So intense it hurts.

TREMORS 4 (dir: S. S. Wilson, PG-13) - Before there were the THE LORD OF THE RINGS films, another film trilogy had captured audience imaginations around the world. Of course I'm talking about the TREMORS films. Hopefully this prequel won't soil the cycle's grand tradition.

TRIPLETS OF BELLEVILLE, THE (dir: Sylvain Chomet, PG-13) - What do you get when you combine the ingenious mayhem of LOONEY TUNES with the hypnotic dream logic of SPIRITED AWAY with the blink-and-you-miss-it visual gags of Jacques Tati? You get this wickedly charming animated film from France that is more than deserving of all praise that's been heaped upon it. Truly fun for all ages, in a way that even your classiest Pixar production could never be.

TRUST ME (dir: Rob Fruchtman, Not Rated) - This documentary from Showtime goes to the Elk Shoals Interfaith Camp where Christian, Muslim and Jewish kids learn about their differences, but more importantly, what they have in common: their shared hatred of atheists. 

TUBE (dir: Woon-Hak Baek, R) - From South Korea comes this non-stop action orgy by the creator of SHIRI. Terrorists take control of a bullet train and threaten to unleash chemical weapons on thirteen million people. It's up to one cop to put a stop to the shenanigans.

TUPAC: RESURRECTION (dir: Lauren Lazin, R) – Let’s all tip our 40s to the thug who had a poet’s soul and really bad luck when it came to being shot in the face.

TWENTY- FIVE WATTS (dir: Juan Pablo Rebella / Pablo Stoll, Not Rated) - Finally! You've been waiting your whole life to see a film from Uruguay , and now it's here! This hip, slice-of-life comedy was influenced by such US indie classics as SLACKER and CLERKS, so your bored teenagers will love it.

TWENTY- ONE GRAMS (dir: Alejandro Gonzalez Inarritu, R) - One of 2003's great films, 21 GRAMS is the English language debut of Alejandro Gonzalez Inarritu, the director of AMORES PERROS. The story of three strangers (Sean Penn, Naomi Watts, Benicio Del Toro) whose lives become unforgettably entwined by tragedy, the film unfolds non-linearly, an artistic gamble that pays off dramatically. As each piece of the puzzle fits together, the struggle of these people is amplified to soul-searing levels. 

TYCOON: A NEW RUSSIAN (dir: Pavel Lounguine, Not Rated) - Described as CITIZEN KANE meets SCARFACE, this epic crime story follows the rise and fall of a Russian mobster during the waning days of the Cold War  through to the present new capitalist Moscow. From the director of TAXI BLUES and LUNA PARK .

UNDEFEATED (dir: John Leguizamo, NR) - John Leguizamo makes his directorial debut with this boxing drama. He also stars as Lex Vargas, the young brawler with big dreams and even bigger demons. 

UNDER THE SKIN OF THE CITY (dir: Rakhshan Bani-Etemad, NR) - A mother in Iran is forced to take drastic measures to save her home and her family. This is the first American release from the "first lady of Iranian cinema".

UNDER THE SUN (dir: Colin Nutley, NR) - A country farmer in Sweden advertises for a housekeeper and gets more than just someone to squeeze the juice out of his Lingonberries when sexy Ellen shows up.

UNDER THE TUSCAN SUN (Audrey Wells, PG-13) - Diane Lane stars in this female fantasy come to life. She plays an American who moves to Italy and falls in love with an exotic hunk. If not for Diane Lane 's perennial charm and the gorgeous scenery, this would be strictly Lifetime movie material.

UNDERWORLD (dir: Len Wiseman, R) - It's vampires vs. werewolves. Equal parts THE MATRIX and awful. 

UNKNOWN PLEASURES (dir: Jia Zhang-Ke, NR) - At the crest of the wave in hipster Chinese cinema is Jia Zhang-Ke, who has been described as a cross between Godard and Tarantino. UNKNOWN PLEASURES follows two disillusioned teenagers discovering romance in the hyper-contemporary setting of a small provincial city. They don't give a care about the past or the future, only the now.

UPTOWN GIRLS (dir: Boaz Yakin, PG-13) - Brittany Murphy stars as a spoiled young woman forced to get a job when her trust fund runs out. The irony is that the job she's forced to take is nannying another spoiled brat. Life lessons soon follow. 

VAKVAGANY (dir: Benjamin Meade, Not Rated) - This week's most avant-garde release is a documentary in which writer James Ellroy, filmmaker Stan Brakhage and psychiatrist Dr. Roy Menninger sift through a Hungarian family's 8mm films from the 50's and analyze what they see. The mentally disturbed son of the family is also tracked down and asked for his recollections.

VENUS BOYZ (dir: Gabriel Baur, Not Rated) - Exploring New York's burgeoning "drag king" scene, this documentary taps into the little known activity of women dressing as men. The movie prompts many interesting questions: Is masculinity a trait that is taught or can it be developed? Is there fluidity in gender or is this just play-acting? Anyone who enjoyed PARIS IS BURNING will enjoy this flipside of that coin.

VERONICA GUERIN (dir: Joel Schumacher, R) - Everybody's favorite actress, Cate Blanchett, stars as the titular real-life Irish reporter who was shot down in a blaze of glory by the mobsters she investigated. Another powerhouse performance to add to her collection. 

VERY ANNIE MARY (dir: Sara Sugarman, NR) - Rachel Griffiths from SIX FEET UNDER stars as a young Welsh woman who dreams of being an opera singer, but must first break free of her overbearing father's grasp. 

WAITING FOR THE MESSIAH (dir: Daniel Burman, NR) - The life of a young Jewish man in Buenos Aires is thrown into turmoil when he meets a beautiful bisexual Christian woman. As his predetermined future gets tossed up in the air, our hero is forced to choose between honoring his family's faith and scoring with a really hot bisexual chick.

WALKING WITH CAVEMEN (dir: Richard Dale, NR) - If you have a thing for animal pelts and scantily clad Australopithicus Afarensis, you'll love the BBC 's documentary that explores human evolution, or as the Georgia superintendent of schools refers to it, "biological changes over time."

WAY PAST COOL (dir: Adam Davidson, R) - This eye-opening film follows a group of kids through the mean streets of Oakland , California as they struggle just to live another twenty-four. I can sympathize with the problems of the ghetto but what about our youngsters right here in Brunswick ? They face challenges of their own every day. Sometimes Mom is late picking you up from Lacrosse practice. Ben at the Bohemian is notorious for making lattes with too much foam. Certain sections of Longfellow Avenue have ridiculously bad cell phone reception. I guess what I'm saying is, wherever you live there are challenges that must be faced with bravery and the resilience that defines the human spirit. Peace. 

WAY WE LAUGHED, THE (dir: Gianni Amelio, NR) - One of Italy 's great modern directors returns with another masterpiece told in his patented epic style. The story of two brothers who emigrate to the north from Sicily in order to escape poverty won the super prestigious Golden Lion at the Venice Film Festival.

WEDDING FOR BELLA, A (THE BREAD, MY SWEET) (dir: Melissa Martin, PG-13) - Against nearly every law of the universe, Scott Baio has received universally terrific reviews for this MOONSTRUCK-esque romantic comedy. He plays a corporate raider who counters the crushing emptiness of his career by moonlighting as a pastry chef.

WIN A DATE WITH TAD HAMILTON ! (dir: Robert Luketic, PG-13) - For reasons unknown to me, this delightful romantic comedy was a total dud at the box office. Too bad. It's pretty charming. Kate Bosworth stars as a small town girl who wins a date with her favorite big-screen idol while failing to realize her best friend, Topher Grace, is actually the boy of her dreams. Let's hope she can sort things out in 97 minutes.

WISCONSIN DEATH TRIP (dir: James Marsh, NR) - Based on the true story of a "cursed" town in Wisconsin , this is an interesting mix of archive documents and dramatization. Defying categorization, WISCONSIN DEATH TRIP is a film that has to be seen to be believed.

WITHOUT A TRACE (SIN DEJAR HUELLA) (dir: Maria Novaro, NR) - Fearing the killings that have targeted young women near the factory where she works, a mother grabs her infant son and hits the road. She meets another woman who is on the run from her drug-trafficking boyfriend and they quickly forge a deep bond. An interesting mixture of thriller and female bonding story.

WONDERLAND (dir: James Cox, R) - Battling with IN THE CUT and PARTY MONSTER for the bragging rights of being this week's sleaziest release is WONDERLAND, the true account of porn legend John C. Holmes's involvement in a drug-fuelled revenge plot that left four people brutally murdered. Val Kilmer plays Holmes with an intense, lived-in realism that makes me worry about what he did to prepare for the role. Using an effective method of flashbacks and perspective change, WONDERLAND keeps you disoriented and fully immersed in the L.A. underworld. Very sordid.

YEAR THAT TREMBLED, THE (dir: Jay Craven, R) - Set against the backdrop of the Kent State shootings, this is the story of a group of friends trying to carve an identity for themselves in an age of confusion, lying politicians and wars that would not be won. And then they grew up and became stockbrokers. 

YOSSI & JAGGER (dir: Eytan Fox, R) - Based on a true story, YOSSI & JAGGER is the story of two Israeli soldiers struggling to keep secret the love that dare not speak its name. Made for Israeli television, it was such a hit that it was screened in cinemas around the country and, successively, the world.

YOU GOT SERVED (dir: Chris Stokes, PG-13) - Breakdancing, historically, has not made good fodder for feature films. YOU GOT SERVED continues this tradition by having no discernible plot but lots of hot moves. The question is whether you're willing to put up with 60 minutes of atrocious acting for 30 minutes of cool dancing.